Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
by Mette A
Summary: AU post S4E8 - my idea of the Christmas Special.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Desperate Times, Desperate Measures.

**Rating:** T

**Spoiler: **The story takes place after season 4, episode 8, and it's my version of the Christmas Special based on some pictures that I've seen.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Everything belongs to Julian Fellowes and ITV.

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**Chapter 1**

"I guess that concludes our meeting then," said Violet looking between Isobel to her right, and Dr. Clarkson who sat across from them.

Richard nodded in affirmation. "I do believe it does, Your Ladyship."

"Well, in that case, Dr. Clarkson, Mrs. Crawley and I should leave."

As Violet stood up so did Richard and Isobel.

"I'll see you to the door."

Richard moved passed Violet and went to open the door in his office, while Isobel took a few steps towards the door.

"Are you free for luncheon, Isobel?"

Isobel turned back towards Violet and shook her head. "I'm afraid not. Lord Merton called yesterday, and asked if he could stop by."

At the mention of Lord Merton's name, Richard hung his head in defeat. Standing with her back to him Isobel didn't notice anything. However, Violet had noticed the change in Richard.

"Lord Merton you say? Why is he stopping by?" Violet asked while still keeping an eye on Richard, but also looking directly at Isobel.

"He's in Yorkshire visiting various friends in the area, so he said he'd take the opportunity to stop by."

"That's nice I suppose," she said as she walked towards the door, and Isobel doing the same. "Well, nice of him to take the time to visit you."

Isobel merely shrugged as they both passed Richard walking out the door, with him following them out. "I suppose I'm one out of many, he's visiting while here."

Violet took a quick look over her shoulder, so that she could still keep an eye on Richard's facial expression. Although he smiled politely, he still looked defeated. Violet turned her attention back to Isobel.

"I haven't heard from Robert that Lord Merton planned on visiting him, while he was in Yorkshire. Or Mary for that matter. Have you?"

"No, I haven't. As I said, I only heard from Lord Merton yesterday that he was in Yorkshire. It has been a while since last I heard from him."

"I see, I see. But still it's rather odd, isn't it, that he should come and see you now?" Violet asked. "We'll all see him in London soon, when we go for the season. He's bound to be there for some of the parties."

"Yes, he said that he would be. He's probably just stopping by to make further arrangements in that regard," she said with a shrug.

"Yes, I suppose that is a possibility." Richard moved passed both of them to open the door for them. As he held the door open to allow them to step through and leave the hospital, Violet purposely stopped on the inside of the hospital. She turned slightly, so that she could look at Isobel, but also at Richard standing behind Isobel's back. "The two of you have been spending an awful lot of time together these many months."

Isobel narrowed her eyes slightly at Violet. "You don't approve?" she asked with her voice slightly raised in a challenging tone.

Violet held up a hand. "No need for that tone, my Dear. I was simply making an observation."

"More like sticking your nose in, where it doesn't belong," Isobel replied with a slight huff.

"So now I can't comment on a simple observation without you taking offense? How are we ever to have a conversation?"

Isobel rolled her eyes at Violet's comment. "Fine! If you must know, I enjoy Lord Merton's company, and he seems to enjoy mine. Does that answer satisfy your curiosity?"

Violet took a quick glance behind Isobel, and caught Richard's dejected look. To her he looked worse than he'd done a minute ago, and how he'd looked in his office before that. Looking back at Isobel, she gave her a slight nod.

"More than you know." Isobel was about to open her mouth to give a rebuttal, but Violet didn't give her the chance. "And now I think we really ought to be leaving." She took a few steps forward, so that she was face to face with Richard. "Good day, Dr. Clarkson."

Richard smiled in kind and gave a polite nod. "Good day, Your Ladyship. I doubt I shall see you before you depart for London for the season."

"No, I don't expect you will."

"In that case, I wish you a pleasant stay in London."

"With Mrs. Levinson around I doubt it will be all that pleasant," she said as she stepped outside.

Richard bit back a grin at her remark having heard his fair share of stories about Mrs. Levinson.

"I'll stop by the hospital before we leave. I want to look in on Beth one more time," Isobel said giving him a big wide smile.

Richard looked back at Isobel and smiled lovingly at her, before softly saying, "She'll be glad of your visit. She's enjoyed them very much so far."

Isobel chuckled lightly at that. "I think it's my stories, she enjoys more than my visits."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," he replied as softly as before.

She merely shrugged at that but smiled softly. "Good day, Dr. Clarkson."

"Good day, Mrs. Crawley."

Although having stood a few feet away from them, Violet had still heard the difference in Richard's tone with her, and the one he'd used when talking to Isobel. He'd been polite and kind with her, but his voice had change to a much softer tone, when he'd addressed Isobel.

"Hmm interesting," Violet mumbled to herself.

"What's interesting?"

Violet blinked a few times not realizing that Isobel had heard her. But when she looked at her, she just gave a short smile.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to everyone, who have read, reviewed, favorited etc, etc. It means so much. :)

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**Chapter 2**

Violet looked up from her book as Spratt entered the room.

"Lord Merton is here to see you, Your Ladyship." Violet blinked at that.

"Lord Merton?" Spratt nodded. "What does he want?"

"He didn't give a specific reason, but just asked to see you."

"The man does realize that we're leaving for London in a few hours, does he not?" she asked slightly annoyed.

"He does, Your Ladyship, which is why he said that he was just making a quick visit."

Violet sighed. "Oh very well. Send him in."

Spratt left the room and seconds later Lord Merton entered.

"Lady Grantham," he greeted as Spratt closed the door behind him. "I do apologize for stopping by unannounced, and so shortly before your trip to London."

"It's quite alright, Lord Merton. But we are leaving in a few hours, so I do hope that you'll be brief."

"Yes, of course." She gestured for him to take a seat. "Thank you."

"So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well, I need your advice."

"My advice?" she asked furrowing her brows in curiosity.

"Yes, your advice. I assumed you would be the perfect person to ask, since you're so close friends with Mrs. Crawley."

"Close friends with Mrs. Crawley?" Violet took a moment to let the words settled, but then let out a hearty chuckle. "Never in my life have I heard anything more absurd," she said as she continued to chuckle heartily.

Lord Merton blinked. "You mean to tell me that you're not? Not even merely friends?"

Violet stopped chuckling and looked Lord Merton straight in the eyes. "My good man, I will never publicly or privately admit to being close friends with Mrs. Crawley. Or even merely friends. I really only tolerate her half the time, and I spent the other half finding her quite insufferable."

"I see." He paused a moment before going on. "Well, in that case I can only assume that you'll be glad to see her leave, when she accepts my offer."

Violet raised her eyebrow in curiosity. "Offer?" she asked a little surprised. "What offer is that?" she then added more nonchalantly.

"As I'm sure you're well aware, Mrs. Crawley and I have been courting these many months," he said smiling. "We started courting shortly after your luncheon last year."

"Hmm yes, yes," she answered pretending that she knew full well, what he was talking about.

"My affection for Mrs. Crawley has grown quite strong during these months. And so therefore I thought it was only right that I move our relationship further along."

"And by further along you mean what exactly?" she asked seemingly uninterested on the outside, but fearing the worst on the inside.

"I mean that I want to offer marriage to Mrs. Crawley," Lord Merton said and then chuckled lightly shaking his head in the process. "Goodness that sounds quite strange even to my own ears. What I meant to say is that I intend to propose to Mrs. Crawley."

Violet gave him a tight brief smile. "I see." He smiled in return.

"I thought you would. That's also why I wanted to seek your advice. I know how much Mrs. Crawley loved her first husband. That is why I thought I would get your opinion, on whether or not you thought that she would accept my proposal."

"Well, Lord Mert…"

"But," he said not even realizing, he was cutting her off, "seeing as you're not friends, I understand that you're not the right person to ask after all."

"No, I suppose I wouldn't be," she said calmly, while on the inside she was giving herself a tongue-lashing.

"Not that it matters though I realize now, as I'm quite convinced that she'll accept my proposal."

"Really?" she asked trying not to sound too surprised.

"Oh yes quite so. And I don't need her to love me as much as she loved her husband. Just the fact that she loves me will be enough."

"And you would really settle for that?"

"Yes, I would."

"And you're quite convinced that she does love you?" she asked carefully.

"Oh yes quite convinced," he said confidently and smiling brightly.

"I see."

"And since you're not close friends, I'm glad that you won't miss her, when she's gone. I was a bit afraid that I would be breaking up your friendship."

Violet blinked at that a few times. "When she's gone?" she asked a little more surprised than she had intended.

"Yes. When we marry, we're naturally going to be living in my home. And as you know, I live quite a long way away from Downton."

"Naturally," she said quietly then added a bit more loudly and casually. "Yes naturally, you'd expect Mrs. Crawley to move away to live in your home."

"I do have an estate to maintain. And as Mrs. Crawley will become Lady Merton, she'll have her fair share of duties to attend to concerning the household."

"Of course." She paused for a moment taking it all in. "So when will you ask for her hand in marriage?"

"I will be stopping by Crawley House, when I leave here to make arrangements for us to meet for luncheon in London."

"So you're not asking her today then?"

"No, I won't be doing that. I need a bit of time to prepare. Besides, London has so many beautiful parks to offer, so I thought I'd take her out for a walk first. After the walk in the park, I plan on taking her to luncheon at The Golden Duckling and propose there."

Violet gave an inwardly sigh of relief being grateful that he wasn't planning on asking her today.

"Well, it is best to be prepared after all," she said giving a tight smile. "For any scenario," she added nonchalantly.

Lord Merton chuckled lightly. "Well, I certainly have to prepare myself for being a married man again. Not that I expect it to be difficult with someone as lovely as Mrs. Crawley for a wife."

"No, I suppose not," Violet quietly added.

"Well, seeing as I got what I came for, I should leave you." He stood up smiling kindly. "Thank you for your time, Lady Grantham."

"It was no trouble, Lord Merton."

"I do hope I can count on your discretion, and that you won't tell Mrs. Crawley or anyone else about this conversation?"

"Yes, of course you can," she said giving him a short tight smile.

"Thank you," he said again. Violet nodded in response as she rung her bell.

Seconds later Spratt appeared in the door again. "Lord Merton is leaving," she told him.

Spratt nodded and Lord Merton walked over to him. Before walking out the door, he turned around.

"I'll see you soon in London, Lady Grantham."

She nodded giving him another short tight smile. "Yes, I'll see you then. Good day."

"Good day, Lady Grantham."

Once she was alone Violet cursed the day last year, when Lord Merton came to luncheon, and she'd invited Isobel to come, too.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to everyone for everything. :)

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**Chapter 3**

"It really was very kind of you to come along for a walk," Isobel told Lord Merton as they walked towards Crawley House. "I don't think I could have spent the morning inside, on a beautiful day such as this, when I know that I'll be spending a few hours on a train later on."

"I'm glad to be walking with you. It also gave us a chance to discuss our plans for luncheon in London," he said smiling kindly at her.

"Yes indeed," she said returning the smile. "And I must say it's very kind of you to take me to The Golden Duckling. I've heard nothing but great reviews about it."

"You've really never been?" he asked still surprised by that fact.

"No, I haven't. I don't go to London much as it is. But even if I did, I'd never dream of going to something as extravagant as The Golden Duckling on my own."

"Well, then it will be my extreme pleasure to take you."

She smiled at that as they continued walking towards Crawley House.

Richard came back from a housecall on his bicycle, when he caught the sight of Isobel in her dark blue outfit. He smiled to himself at merely the sight of her. But his smile quickly vanished when he noticed she was walking with Lord Merton. Seeing the two of them together, he suddenly felt quite ill causing him to lose control of his bicycle. Managing to get one foot down on the ground, he was able to break his fall quite a bit. However, the sound of his bicycle crashing to the ground gave him away to everyone in the street.

"Dr. Clarkson!" He groaned out loud as he heard Isobel cry out in alarm. The last thing he wanted was for her to see him like this, when Lord Merton was at her side. He tried standing up before she reached him, but he quickly felt her hand on his arm helping him to stand up. "Dr. Clarkson, are you alright?"

He caught her eye and saw the look of deep concern there. But also seeing that Lord Merton was right behind her, he quickly and a little abruptly got out of her grasp. He thought that she looked hurt and offended by his actions. Feeling guilty about it, he quickly offered her a polite smile.

"Yes, I'm alright thank you." He bent down to pick up his bicycle, giving it a once over in the process to check for damages. He was glad to see that there were none.

"What happened?"

He swallowed hard at hearing how concerned, she still sounded. He really didn't want her concern, with Lord Merton there. However, when he looked at her again, he smiled in kind.

"I simply lost my balance. There must've been a small pebble in the road that I drove over, which caused me to fall." He gave her another kind but tight smile. "I should get back to the hospital, so if you'll excuse me."

"Would you like us to walk you back?" she asked gently placing a hand on his upper arm, before he had a chance to leave.

However, feeling her hand on his arm, he jerked away as if her touch burned him.

"No!" Realizing he'd sounded rather harsh, and once again seeing that she looked rather hurt, he quickly spoke more calmly. "No, thank you. I can manage on my own." Not wanting to hurt her any further, he quickly excused himself. "Good day, Mrs. Crawley," he said kindly to her while giving a gentle smile. "Lord Merton," he said with a polite nod, before getting back on his bicycle and driving off towards the hospital.

Isobel kept her eyes on him as he rode off being lost in thought. However, soon her thoughts were broken as Lord Merton spoke.

"He was rather rude."

When she wasn't able to see Richard any longer, she turned her attention back towards Lord Merton.

"Was he? I didn't notice," she said with a smile and a shrug.

He smiled at her. "That's because you're too kind to notice. But yes, he seemed rather rude to me."

"He probably just has a lot on his mind these days," she said giving another shrug. "He often works long hours, and even at night and often in his free time, he's called out for emergencies. It's not an easy job being the only doctor, in a small village such as ours." With that she quickly started walking towards Crawley House again taking long strides. He followed quickly, too.

"I suppose it's not. And I'm sure you're right that he probably has a lot to deal with at the moment."

"Yes, I'm quite sure that's it," she said hoping to convince him, as she wasn't convinced herself. But the last thing she wanted was for someone to think badly of Richard, so she was determined to get Lord Merton to stop talking about it.

"Well then, let's leave it at that."

She merely nodded in response as they walked the last few steps to Crawley House in silence.

When they reached the front door, Lord Merton was about to step forward to knock on it, but Isobel took a few quick steps, getting to the door before him.

"There's no need to knock. I'm quite capable of opening the door myself," she replied cheerfully.

He chuckled softly. "Yes of course."

She opened the door walking in, and he took a few steps inside as well.

"Thank you again for the company."

"It was my pleasure as always, Mrs. Crawley."

They both turned their attention towards Isobel's maid, Lucy, as they noticed she'd entered the hallway. Isobel gave her a bright smile.

"Any messages for me while I was out?"

"No, Ma'am."

Just then the telephone rang causing them all to look in the direction of the sitting room. Isobel let out a chuckle.

"It's as if someone knows that I've just arrived home."

"Would you like me to get it, Ma'am?"

"No, I'll get it. It's bound to be either the Dowager Countess or someone at the Abbey. But if you could show Lord Merton out, I'd appreciate it." She turned towards Lord Merton. "I hope you don't mind?"

He smiled kindly and shook his head gently. "Not at all. You go take care of that telephone call, so that you don't worry anyone. I'll see you in London soon."

"Yes, see you then," she said as she made her way down the hall and into the sitting room.

Lucy then walked passed Lord Merton and held the door open for him. "Thank you," he told her giving her a polite nod.

"You're welcome, Milord."

He was about to leave, but then looked back at her.

"Mrs. Crawley tells me that while she's in London, she's sending you and her cook off for a bit of a holiday. That you each get to spend quite a bit of time with your families."

"Yes, that's right, Milord," she answered politely. "Mrs. Crawley is very generous. Not only is she paying for our travel expenses, but she's also giving us money to spend during our holiday, so that we don't use all our savings. She felt, it was only right to do so, since she's choosing to go to London. She didn't think that her enjoyment should affect our pay."

"That's very kind of her indeed. So you've been happy working for her?"

"Oh very happy, Milord," she answered smiling brightly. "And I hope to continue to work for her for many years to come."

"Well, that might not be a possibility."

Lucy frowned slightly. "What do you mean, Milord?"

"Oh goodness," he said smiling a bit excitingly. "I really shouldn't say, as I haven't asked Mrs. Crawley yet. But I'm quite frankly too happy with the future that I feel I must share it with someone. But I'll only tell, if you promise to keep it to yourself."

"Yes, I promise, Milord."

Lord Merton stepped a little closer and kept his voice low but was still very excited. "I'm going to ask Mrs. Crawley to marry me, when we're in London. So since I have no doubt that she'll accept me, you can expect that she'll be moving away from Downton soon. And," he added more calmly, "I have more than enough staff at my home, so I don't believe that we'll be in the need of you or her cook. So while you're away, you should think about looking for other employment," he told her gently.

Lucy blinked at all the information she'd just received suddenly feeling quite sad. "I see," she merely responded quietly.

"I do wish we could take you both with us. But I don't think it would be right to fire any of my current employees, and it would be too much to employ you all. I hope you can understand that," he explained sincerely.

"Yes, of course, Milord. Mrs. Field is actually only staying on for another few months, so I guess it'll only be I, who will be looking for a new job."

"I see. Well that's at least a bit of a comfort to me. But I know how much Mrs. Crawley values your work and respects you, so I have no doubt that she'll give you an excellent reference," he said encouragingly.

"I'm sure of that too, Milord."

"Well, I really must be off. But you will keep this to yourself, and not even tell the cook?"

"Yes, of course, Milord."

He smiled kindly and brightly. "Thank you. Enjoy your holiday," he said as he walked away.

Lucy merely nodded mutely before turning around walking back inside.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you again to all for everything. :)

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**Chapter 4**

Richard looked towards the door to his office as someone knocked. "Enter!" He blinked a few times in surprise at seeing Isobel stepping into his office. "Mrs. Crawley," he said softly standing up in the process. "What brings you by? I thought you were on your way to London soon?"

"We are soon," she said as she made her way to his desk, "but I thought I'd come and see you, before I left."

"Oh? Is there something wrong? I hope you're not feeling unwell?" he asked suddenly feeling alarmed.

"No, no nothing of the sort," she said with a smile and a shake of her head.

He gave a silent sigh of relief, and then softly said, "I've very glad to hear that," before adding a bit more cheerfully, "It wouldn't do you any good to be ill, when you're off to London for such a long time."

"No, it wouldn't," she agreed.

"So, what can I do for you?"

"Nothing really," she said with a shrug. "I just came to make sure that you were alright. I don't know quite how to explain it, but you seemed a little off out in the street earlier. Are you alright?"

"Oh yes quite alright, I assure you," he said offering her a smile. "I manage to put my foot on the ground before falling, so that saved me from ending up with any severe bruises."

"I'm glad to hear that," she said smiling kindly, "but it wasn't exactly what I meant," she added then more softly.

Seeing that she was looking at him with great concern, he nearly lost himself in her eyes. But knowing that he couldn't give himself away, he quickly shook his head smiling at her.

"I suppose I was just a bit embarrassed that I fell off my bicycle. It's something that small boys do, but not grown men. And to do it in such a public place…..well, even I have a bit of vanity," he said adding a slight chuckle.

She smiled at his comment but then got a bit more serious. "Still, it seemed it was much more than that."

"How so?"

"I don't know," she said and then shrugged. "You just seemed rather curtly with me, and I couldn't help but wonder if I'd done something wrong. Have I in some way offended you?"

He gaped at her slightly being stunned by her words. He felt like a wretched idiot for having talked to her like he'd done less than two hours earlier. Seeing her hurt always broke his heart, but knowing he was the cause of it broke him even more.

"I assure you, Mrs. Crawley, you have not offended me or done something wrong," he told her imploringly. "You never could," he added more softly.

"I just annoy you from time to time," she reminded him a bit teasingly.

He smiled a bit more brightly seeing her giving him a teasing smile. "Yes, there is that," he said with a chuckle. His heart filled with happiness at seeing her chuckling along with him. It had been a great while, since they'd last had a chance to spend time together and laughing like this. "But I assure you that you haven't done anything now to annoy me," he said with a teasing twinkle in his eyes.

She smiled at that but then got a bit more serious again. "Are you absolutely sure about that? I just have a gut feeling that there's more to it than that. So please if there's anything wrong, I'd like to know and help, if I can."

"As I already said, I assure you that nothing is wrong. I think I just must be a bit overworked lately. So if I seem to be rude or harsh, it's simply because I'm a bit stressed out, and I sincerely apologize for that. I mean absolutely nothing by it," he told her sincerely.

"Would you tell me, if there was something wrong?"

Not being too comfortable with her still serious tone, he tried being a bit more cheerful. "Being a nurse I'm sure you'd be able to tell, if I was sick or not."

"That's not what I meant."

He sighed a little at her relentlessness. "Mrs. Crawley, as I've already told you, you could never do anything to offend or hurt me. So please, you needn't be afraid that you could ever do that. That's also why, I would never have cause to tell you if you did, because you simply never would hurt or offend me."

"And if I was not the cause of it, would you tell me then? Would you tell me, if someone else or something had upset you?"

"I'm very rarely upset or hurt by someone or something."

"No, I realize that. But we are friends, are we not? We are very good friends, I believe?"

"Yes," he murmured softly, not able to stop himself from swallowing hard at the tone of her voice. It almost sounded to him like she no longer thought that they were friends. That he somehow had made her believe that he no longer thought of her as his friend. "We're very good friends indeed. Nothing's ever going to change that."

He was relieved to see her smiling at his words. "Good. So would you tell me then?"

He almost rolled his eyes at her persistence, but instead just shrugged.

"If anything would upset me, it would be something very trivial. Hardly something to bother you with," he said with a smile in an attempt to make her believe that everything was alright.

She sighed deeply. "So what you're saying is that you wouldn't tell me?"

"I hardly think that getting a paper cut is worth telling you about. And if you hadn't seen me falling off my bicycle, I hardly think that would've been something worth sharing either. And I do share about my day, whenever we're spending time together," he argued, though it sounded a bit weak even to himself.

She sighed deeply again, this time sounding a little dejected. "Very well then."

"Is there something, you wish to tell me? Is there something or someone upsetting you?" he asked concerned. "Apart from me earlier that is," he added with a soft apologetic smile.

"No," she murmured softly. "There's nothing or no one upsetting me. Not even you. In fact you could never do that to me either." They locked eyes and stood there holding each other's gaze for a long moment, before Isobel finally blinked. "Well, if there really is nothing wrong, I suppose I should be going. Cousin Violet is picking me up soon, and we're going to the Abbey first to pick up some of the others. So I guess I ought to be getting back."

"Yes, I suppose, it's best not to keep the Dowager waiting."

"No, that would indeed be downright horrible," she commented dryly. When she heard him give out a chuckle, she couldn't help but chuckle along with him, before her features softened. "Well, I guess this is goodbye for now then."

"Yes, it seems it is. It will be strange not seeing you in the village for such a long time, or having you come around the hospital," he said softly. Or spending time alone together, he thought.

"I know it will be very strange for me as well. Not really sure, I'll be able to cope being away from here for that long."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll do just fine," he said encouragingly. "Other than the parties you'll be attending, there is a lot to see in London."

"I'm sure you're right. Well," she added a bit reluctantly, "I really should be going."

"Yes, of course," he said nodding. "Shall I walk you out?"

"Oh no, that won't be necessary. If you're stressed with work, you needn't bother walking me out. Besides, I plan on making a quick stop to visit Beth."

"She'll like that very much."

"I must admit I like visiting her as much as you think, she enjoys my visits. She's such a sweet little girl," she said smiling a little wider. "And as she'll have gone back home by the time, I get back, I really think I'll make one final visit."

"You should stop by her home and visit her, when you get back. I don't think her parents would mind at all. And I'm quite sure Beth would be thrilled to hear your enchanting tales from London," he said with a smile.

She smiled brightly at that, which made his heart skip a beat.

"I just might do that."

"You should," he said softly.

"Then I will," she replied just as softly. They held each other's gaze for another long moment, but then she cleared her throat. "Well, I must be off. Goodbye, Dr. Clarkson."

"Goodbye, Mrs. Crawley."

When Isobel left his office Richard sat back down sighing heavily and put his face in his hands.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

Once again thank you to all for everything. It's very much appreciated. :)

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**Chapter 5**

Having said goodbye to Mrs. Field, Isobel left Crawley House finding Violet's chauffeur Thompson in the middle of loading her luggage onto the car. Lucy was there as well watching him, but Isobel noticed that she didn't seem all that well.

"Lucy? Are you alright?"

Lucy blinked a few times realizing that someone was speaking to her. "Pardon, Ma'am?"

Isobel smiled at her gently. "I asked if you were alright."

"Oh yes, I'm fine, Ma'am. Thank you," she said giving only the hint of a very small smile.

"Are you sure?" she asked worriedly. "I thought you were looking forward to going home to visit your family, but you seem almost sad."

Lucy willed herself to smile even more. "Oh no, I'm still looking very much forward to going home, Ma'am. I suppose it's just going to be a bit odd being away from here for so long."

Isobel chuckled at that. "Well, you should enjoy it while you can. I'll be home soon enough, which means that so will you. Before long everything will be back to normal."

"Yes indeed, Ma'am," Lucy said forcing herself to smile a little wider, so that Isobel wouldn't get suspicious.

Isobel sensed that something was still off, but decided not to press the matter any further.

"Seeing as everything is under control here, you can go back inside and get ready for your own trip."

"Yes, Ma'am, thank you. Enjoy your stay in London."

"Thank you, and enjoy your trip home." Lucy merely smiled a little at that and nodded before leaving. As Lucy left Isobel made her way to the car waving a dismissive hand at Thompson, who was ready to go and open the door for her. "It's alright, I can manage."

"Honestly, Isobel, you could at least let Thompson do his job. It's one thing to do things yourself privately. But would it really be that terrible to have some proper manners in public?"

Isobel rolled her eyes at that as she got settled in the car next to Violet. "Well, hello to you, too," she commented dryly. "I really don't know why you must make such a big fuss about it. I'm perfectly capable of opening the door myself."

"Be that as it may, I still have a reputation to uphold. How will it look to everyone, if they see that you're opening the door yourself to my car, when I'm sitting inside?"

Isobel took a look out the windows and then looked at Violet. "What people? There are no one about but us and Thompson."

"Still, someone could have noticed."

Isobel rolled her eyes at Violet. "If this is the conversation we're going to have, I'd rather we didn't speak at all!"

"Fine! If that's the way you feel about it, I'm perfectly fine with nothing but silence!"

"Good!"

Both women huffed slightly turning away from each other to look out of their own window. However, seconds later Violet heard Isobel sighing a little sadly, and she couldn't help inquiring about it.

"Is there something wrong?"

Isobel turned her head slightly to look at her. "What happened to silence?"

Violet swallowed the retort, she would have normally given, and spoke gently instead. "Something just seems a bit off with you."

"It's nothing," Isobel replied quietly.

"Clearly it's something, or otherwise you wouldn't act like you do. Does it have something to do with your maid?" Violet asked. Normally she wouldn't bother asking about such a matter, but she knew that Isobel cared enough, so it seemed the right thing to ask. "I couldn't hear everything you said, but it sounded as if something seemed off."

"No, it has nothing to do with Lucy, although I do think something's wrong with her. She seemed much more cheerful this morning," Isobel explained.

"Ah, then something _is_ wrong. With _you_," she said a little triumphantly.

"Not with me exactly."

Violet arched an eyebrow in curiosity. "Then with whom?"

Isobel sighed turning in her seat, so that she was turned slightly towards Violet.

"It's Dr. Clarkson."

"Dr. Clarkson?" she asked a little surprised. "Why? What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know. But something just seems off with him, and I fear I may be the cause of it."

"Why do you think that you'd be the cause of it? Has he implied that you are?"

"Oh heavens no!" she said with a slight chuckle. "He'd never do that," she replied and then turning her head away from Violet, she added more softly, "He's much too kind for that."

Violet furrowed her brow in surprise at her comment. "Then if he hasn't said so, why do you think that you've done something to him?"

"Because, I saw him in the village earlier. He fell off his bicycle, and when I went to offer my help, he seemed a little abrupt with me."

"He fell off his bicycle?" She blinked in surprise. "You didn't by any chance see him and call out to him, which caused his fall, did you? I can see that he'd be a bit abrupt with you, if you'd done that," she said with a chuckle and imagined that scene clearly in her head.

"No, I was with Lord Merton at the time. I didn't even see Dr. Clarkson at first. It was his bicycle crashing to the ground that got my attention."

Violet raised an eyebrow at that. It seemed that her suspicion of late that Richard had feelings for Isobel was possibly just confirmed. However, not wanting to say anything about her suspicion, or the fact that she'd seen Lord Merton herself earlier, she merely acted nonchalantly.

"Lord Merton came to see you again?"

"Yes, he came to make arrangements for our luncheon in London. Apparently he's taking me to The Golden Duckling."

Violet was glad that Isobel didn't make any remarks to her asking about Lord Merton again.

"The Golden Duckling? My, my, my, that's extravagant."

Isobel smiled a little. "Yes, it is rather."

It didn't go unnoticed by Violet that the smile didn't reach Isobel's eyes at all.

"So when are you going to The Golden Duckling? Did he happen to mention that?"

"Not until two weeks from now. I wanted to concentrate on Rose, since she's the reason I'm going to London. And Lord Merton was fine with that."

"That's good," she mumbled a little to herself, but at Isobel's curious gaze she quickly clarified. "I mean, it's good that you're going to wait a while. It will give you something to look forward to."

Isobel nodded absentmindedly at that, turning her head from Violet again in the process. "Yes, it's one of many things to look forward to while in London," she said seemingly not even giving the lunch a second thought.

When Isobel remained silent after that, Violet took in her countenance. She seemed rather sad or even slightly broken, and Violet suspected that Isobel had feelings for Richard as well. They had been spending a lot of time together during the months after Matthew's death, which Isobel had told her about. But lately Violet hadn't heard from Isobel that she'd spent much time with him.

However, not being convinced of her suspicion, she decided to dig a little further.

"But still you don't know, what might be troubling Dr. Clarkson?" Her suspicion grew a little stronger as Isobel seemed to get a spark in her eye at the mention of his name.

"No," she murmured. "I went to see him at the hospital, but he told me I hadn't done anything wrong. He said, he was just a bit stressed out, and apologized as he hadn't meant to be so harsh." She then sighed. "But I'm still not entirely convinced that I haven't done something. I definitely think that there's something troubling him. I just don't know what," she said sighing a little sadly.

"I would've thought you'd know better than anyone, if something was troubling him, since the two of you spend so much time together."

"We haven't spent much time together lately actually."

"Oh?" Violet responded without sounding too curious.

"No, it seems we've both been rather busy. We've seen each other at the hospital of course. But spending time away from the hospital has proven rather difficult."

"Why is that?"

Isobel shrugged. "I don't know really. He's been away on housecalls many evenings, when we've had plans, so we've had to cancel many times. And when he was finally free, it seemed I was either at the Abbey or having other guests for dinner."

"That's seems like a shame," she offered gently.

"It is. We know each other so well and have so much in common that there's never a lack of things to talk about," she said smiling wistfully, but then added sadly, "But lately it seems we don't quite know what to say to each other."

Violet was about to make a further comment, when Thompson got in the car. He looked over his shoulder.

"All set, Your Ladyship."

"Well, it seems that London here we come," said Isobel trying to sound a little more cheerful.

Thompson smiled at her before looking at Violet.

"Will there be anything else, or should I go straight to the Abbey, Your Ladyship?"

Violet took another long look at Isobel, but then directed her attention at Thompson. "To the Abbey."

"Very good, Your Ladyship."

When the car started to drive off, Violet noticed that Isobel had her eyes fixed on the hospital. Even as they drove passed it, she still looked over her shoulder to look at it. And when it was no longer in sight, she noticed that Isobel just stared blankly out the window.

"Stop the car!"

Isobel blinked at Violet's slight outburst as the car came to a halt.

"Good heavens! Whatever is the matter?" Isobel exclaimed.

"Did you forget something, Your Ladyship?"

"Yes, I did, and I need to go back and take care of it."

"Should I turn the car around, Your Ladyship?"

"Oh no, there's no need. It's something here in the village that I need to take care of."

"What do you need to take care of here in the village?" Isobel asked curiously.

"Oh, it's nothing of importance really," Violet answered with a slight shrug.

"But it can't wait until we get back home from London?"

"Oh most definitely not! No, this matter needs to be taken care of this instant!"

Isobel creased her brow in confusion. "But I thought you just said that it wasn't important."

"Well, yes but…" she trailed off not really knowing what to say to that. Instead she turned her attention to Thompson. "I'll be getting out here."

Isobel blinked at that as Thompson got out and opened the door for Violet. As Violet stepped out Isobel leaned forward towards the door.

"Would you like me to come with you, to help take care of whatever it is that you need to take care of?"

Violet offered her a quick smile and shook her head. "Oh there is no need. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of this matter all on my own. But thank you," she added quickly forcing herself to smile a little more brightly. She then looked at Thompson. "Take Mrs. Crawley to the Abbey, and then come pick me up on your way to the train station."

"Yes, Your Ladyship," Thompson said giving Violet a nod in the process.

Violet took a quick look through the now closed door, and found it rather amusing to see Isobel looking quite dumbfounded.

She watched the car leave, and when it was no longer in sight she turned on her heal making her way towards the hospital.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you all for reading and reviewing. It means so much. :)

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**Chapter 6**

Being in a bad mood Richard was about to give a good tongue-lashing to, whoever had just walked into his office without knocking. However, when he turned around he stared wide eyed at seeing Violet standing before him.

"Your Ladyship," he greeted. "I thought you'd be on your way to London by now."

"We are leaving shortly, but I have an urgent matter that I must discuss with you."

Before Richard even had the chance to offer her a seat, she'd sat down. He blinked a little at first, but then offered a smile as he sat down behind his desk.

"And what is this urgent matter about then?" he asked smiling politely.

"It's a matter of the heart."

"I hope you're not feeling ill again, Your Ladyship?" he asked a little alarmed while leaning forward in his chair.

"Oh not at all, Dr. Clarkson. I assure you that I'm quite well."

"Well that's good to hear," he said smiling. "Is it someone else then?"

"I talked to Mrs. Crawley, and she sai…"

"She's not ill is she?" Richard asked cutting Violet off sounding much more alarmed than before, and staring a little wide eyed at her.

Violet blinked at not only being cut off, but also at the sheer look of panic in Richard's eyes.

"No, Dr. Clarkson," she replied calmly. "She's not ill."

"Oh thank heavens," he sighed in relief. Remembering who was sitting across from him, and that she was looking at him rather curiously, Richard quickly composed himself and smiled kindly. "That's very good to hear."

"Yes, it most certainly sounded like it," she said raising an eyebrow causing Richard to swallow hard, while forcing himself to keep smiling at her.

"So what was the problem with Mrs. Crawley then?" he asked a little more indifferent.

"She mentioned that when you fell off your bicycle earlier today, and she went to help you seemed rather abrupt with her. She also mentioned that when she later stopped by the hospital to ask, if she'd done something wrong, you mentioned that you were simply stressed out."

"Yes that is what happened. I never meant to cause Mrs. Crawley any pain, and she certainly hasn't caused me any." Not being comfortable with the penetrating look, he was receiving, he chuckled a little sheepishly. "And I suppose I was also mostly embarrassed having fallen off my bicycle for everyone to see." Still receiving the penetrating look, he smiled a little wider as he said, "That's all there is to it."

"Are you absolutely sure about that, Dr. Clarkson?" she asked with her eyebrow slightly more raised than before.

Knowing that he couldn't waver, he kept looking her straight in the eyes. "I assure you, Your Ladyship. But I certainly understand your concern for Mrs. Crawley. So if I've caused her any further grief, I hope that you'll pass on my sincerest apology."

"It isn't just Mrs. Crawley's heart that I'm concerned about."

He blinked a little in surprise. "No?"

"No, Dr. Clarkson. I'm concerned for your heart as well."

"My heart?" he asked utterly surprised with her nodding in response. "I assure you, Your Ladyship, that my heart is sound. I'm quite well."

"It wasn't your health that I was concerned about."

"Mrs. Crawley didn't offend me, if that's what you're referring to."

"It wasn't."

"Then I'm afraid, I don't understand what you're talking about."

"Oh for heaven's sake, Dr. Clarkson!" she exclaimed as he stared wide eyed at her outburst. "Must I spell it out for you?"

"I'm afraid that you must, as I honestly haven't got a clue as to what, you're talking about."

"Fine, I will!" she said and then leaned forward in her seat gripping her cane a little tighter and looking at him intensely. "When are you going to tell Mrs. Crawley that you love her?" she asked bluntly.

He looked at her slack jawed for several moments, before finally finding his voice.

"Lllo…lov…love Mrs. Crawley?" he stuttered.

"Yes," she answered firmly.

"I don't know what you mean, Your Ladyship," he said laughing a little nervously and avoided eye contact. "I'm not in love with Mrs. Crawley. She and I are good friends, but that's all. I certainly don't lo…"

"Enough!" The tone of her voice caused him to look at her again. "You're a terrible liar, Dr. Clarkson. And didn't you once tell me that you couldn't justify telling an outright lie?" she asked raising an eyebrow at him again.

"As far as I remember, I was able to do just that," he retorted. She blinked a little not being used to people besides the family talking back to her. Seeing this he immediately started to apologize. "Forgive me, Your Ladyship, I di…"

She held up a hand silencing him. "It's alright, and I know," she replied calmly and a bit quietly. "You told a lie so that two hearts could heal as one. But your heart won't heal, Dr. Clarkson, if you continue to lie to yourself."

"I'm not lying to myself," he replied more calmly.

"Then you admit it then that you love Mrs. Crawley?"

"I'm admitting to nothing, Your Ladyship, because there's nothing to admit," he said slightly exasperated. He took a calming breath and looked at her again speaking more calmly. "My personal life is my own business, and I would appreciate it greatly, if you would respect that."

"Well, I won't!" He rolled his eyes. "You have to tell her that you love her!"

"I will do no such thing!" he told her sharply.

"I must insist that you tell her!" she argued back just as strongly.

"With all due respect, Your Ladyship, you have no right to insist anything, when it comes to my personal life!" She gaped at him slightly at his angry tone. "Now if there was nothing more," he said a bit more calmly and standing up in the process, "I really need to get back to work."

"Well, there is more!"

"Your Ladyship," he groaned in frustration, "I already told you tha…"

"Lord Merton is going to propose to her in London!" His heart seemed to stop at her words, as he stared wide eyed and open mouthed at her. "Dr. Clarkson, did you hear what I said? I said that Lord Mert…"

"Yes, I heard you the first time," he cut across quietly. She took in his countenance. Never in her life had she seen a man more stricken, regarding a matter such as this. "He's really going to propose to her then?"

"He is," she answered. "And if she accepts, she's going to be leaving Downton to live at his home. That means that she'll only come back a few times a year for visits. She'll no longer be right here in the village. You would hardly ever get the chance to see her. That's why you have to tell her that you love her. You're the only one, who can make her stay."

He narrowed his eyes at her slightly. "Forgive me, Your Ladyship, if I'm being impertinent," he said with a slight edge to his tone. "But isn't it possible that _you_ would miss her too much, if she no longer lived in Downton? Isn't it possible that you would lose your best friend, if she moved away? It seems to me that it's _you_, who have something to lose by Mrs. Crawley moving away."

"Yes," she replied truthfully and bluntly. "I'll admit to you that I would miss her terribly, if she moved away. And I would lose someone, whom I've come to think of as a dear, close friend despite our vast differences." He blinked at her honesty. "But tell me, Dr. Clarkson," she said eyes narrowing slightly. "What would _you_ lose, if she married Lord Merton and moved away?"

"I already told you, Your Ladyship," he explained, "that I don't love Mrs. Crawley."

"Do not insult me by lying to my face! Do you take me for a fool?" she asked exasperated.

"No, of course not, Your Ladyship," he told her calmly.

"Then we'll try this again, since you've more or less just admitted as much, but I want to hear it properly. And I expect you to tell me the truth this time, and without delay as I haven't got the time. Do you love Mrs. Crawley?" He took a long moment to look at her, but then hung his head and sat back down defeated. "I'll take that as a yes," she said calmly.

He sighed deeply looking back up at her. "Yes, Your Ladyship. I'm in love with Mrs. Crawley," he finally admitted.

"Then you need to tell her," she told him gently. "You're the only one, who can make her stay. You're the only one, who can give her enough reason to stay. So you must tell her that you love her."

"I'm sorry," he said with a sigh, "but I won't be telling her. Nothing good would come of it."

"Nothing _but_ good would come of it. You _must_ tell her."

"No."

"But why?"

"I may love Mrs. Crawley, but she doesn't love me," he replied sadly.

"You don't know that," she told him.

"But I do know that, Your Ladyship."

"Has she ever told you that she doesn't love you? Has she ever given you any reason to think this?"

"More or less, yes."

"Which one is it?" she asked. "More or less?"

He sighed. "She made enough comments for me to know that she doesn't love me."

"I can't believe that. How long ago was this?"

"It was a while ago, but it still doesn't matter," he said with a deep sigh. "She won't change her mind, and I'd rather not have her pity. So for everyone's sake, it's best that I don't tell her anything."

"I don't believe that for a minute. You must tell her."

"But, Your Ladysh.."

"What if you say nothing, and she ends up marrying him? How will you feel then? Will you be happy to see her taking his arm?"

"No, bu…"

"Will it thrill you to see her smiling lovingly at him?"

"Your Ladyship, ple…"

"What if you see her kissing him?" She knew she was out of line, and could see how uncomfortable she was making him. But she had to get through to him. "Will you be happy about that?"

"Please, I don't want to hea…"

"_And_," she said poignantly though slightly uncomfortably, "how will you feel knowing that he gets to take her to bed?"

"STOP!" he roared voice cracking. "Please, just stop," he begged quietly, shutting his eyes tightly to prevent any tears from falling.

She gaped not having expected such a strong reaction from him. She allowed him a few moments to compose himself before speaking to him again.

"Dr. Clarkson," she said quietly. "Will you be happy, if Mrs. Crawley marries Lord Merton?"

He swallowed hard and took a couple of deep breaths before looking at her again. She gasped slightly at the devastated look on his face.

"No," he said just as quietly but with a voice full of emotion. "I will be heartbroken, if she marries him. It would be the worst thing imaginable." Taking a deep calming breath he went on. "But I won't stand in the way of her happiness. I have no right to do so."

"What about your own happiness? Does that not matter at all?"

"No, it doesn't. Nothing in the world matters more to me than her happiness, and I'd never wish to be the one to cause her any grief. That's why I'd rather keep quiet about my feelings for her and remain her friend, than tell her how I feel and lose her friendship."

"But you don't know that you'll lose her friendship, if you declare your feelings for her. I think it's quite the opposite." she told him. "You didn't hear how she spoke a short while ago. She seemed quite sad thinking that she'd upset you, and she didn't seem at all pleased talking about Lord Merton. So what does that tell you?"

"It tells me that she cares about the wellbeing of others. You know as well as I do the lengths she'll go to, to help her fellow man. And she won't rest until she knows that she's accomplished what she set out to do. So naturally she's going to be concerned, if she thinks that she hasn't succeeded. That's all it is, Your Ladyship."

She shook her head slightly. "No, Dr. Clarkson, I don't believe that's all it is."

"Well, I do," he said gently.

"You have often spent a lot of time with Mrs. Crawley, have you not?" she asked. "Going to Crawley House for dinner and such?"

"I have yes," he replied a little confused at the new line of questioning.

"So say she marries Lord Merton and moves away. Will you go and visit them, seeing as you're such good friends with her?"

He sighed. "No, I would not."

"But you'd still take the opportunity to meet with her, when she comes to visit Downton?" she asked. "Seeing as you're such good friends." She added with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I wouldn't do that either," he said having a feeling of where this was going.

"So you're just going to ignore her, when she's here? Even if she wants to see you?"

"She would probably not get the chance to see me."

"What do you mean?" she asked confusion showing on her face.

"You know now how I feel about her, and you know how I'd feel about seeing them together." She nodded in response waiting for him to continue. "If Mrs. Crawley does marry Lord Merton, I think I should think about retirement."

"Retirement?" she exclaimed. "Or surely you don't intend to take such drastic steps?"

"I do, Your Ladyship. Or if not retirement then I at least intend to leave Downton."

"Honestly, Dr. Clarkson, you're making no sense! First you say that you won't tell Mrs. Crawley how you feel, because you don't want to lose her friendship. And now you say that if she marries Lord Merton, you're going to move away?" He nodded. "Then the way I see it, you have nothing to lose by telling her how you feel."

"I have _everything_ to lose. If we have to part, I'd rather we part as friends with her knowing nothing, than having any awkwardness between us because she knows the truth."

"That seems absolutely ridiculous to me!"

"Well, not to me it doesn't."

"So you really won't tell her how you feel?" she said more gently this time.

"No, I won't. She's been through enough as it is, so it's only right that she should be happy. And I won't be the one to stand in the way of her happiness."

"And there is nothing I can say that would change your mind? Nothing at all?"

"There is not, Your Ladyship."

"Well, I wish I could convince you," she said sighing and then caught the time on the clock behind him. "But I haven't got the time now. I should be off." She stood up and so did he.

"I trust that you won't tell Mrs. Crawley about this conversation?"

"Yes, of course," she said sighing- "If that is what you wish."

"It is, Your Ladyship."

"Very well then. Do you have a pen and paper?"

"Yes," he answered a little confused, but found what she asked for and gave it to her.

"Thank you." He watched her write something down, and then handed him the piece of paper, when she was done. "That's for you."

"What is it," he asked confusedly. "What are these numbers?"

"The first number is the telephone number for Lord and Lady Grantham's home in London. The second is the telephone number for my daughter's home," she explained. "It's so that you can get in touch with us, when you finally decide to come to your senses about Mrs. Crawley," she elaborated and then turned heading for the door.

"I won't be changing my mind, Your Ladyship."

She turned to face him. "Lord Merton will be proposing in two weeks. He intends to take her out for a walk first before luncheon at The Golden Duckling, which is where he will be proposing."

"But, Your Ladysh…"

"Two weeks, Dr. Clarkson. That's all you have. So I suggest you come to your senses quickly."

Without giving him a chance to say anything else, she opened the door and left quickly.

When he was alone in his office Richard sighed deeply closing his eyes for a moment, and then ran his free hand across his face. When he opened his eyes again, he stared down at the piece of paper in his hand. Sighing deeply once again he sat down keeping his eyes on the paper. But after another few moments of staring intently at it, he crumbled it and threw it in the trashcan.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

I thank you all so much for your kindness. :)

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**Chapter 7**

Isobel sat quietly by herself staring blankly out into space, not taking in the party scene before her at all.

"Can I join you?"

Isobel looked up a little startled not having heard Mary approaching. But she quickly smiled warmly at her.

"Yes, of course, my Dear."

"Are you alright, Isobel?" Mary asked as she sat down. "You looked as if you were in a world of your own."

"Oh I'm alright. I suppose all of these parties are just wearing me out a little," she replied with a shrug. "Not to mention the city."

"You sound as if you miss Downton."

"I do rather," she said and then chuckled. "It's funny actually. I used to enjoy living in the city, when I lived in Manchester, because that's all I knew really. But I've become rather fond of the quiet village life, and I find myself preferring the small country life to that of a big city."

"Well that's very good to hear," replied Mary warmly.

They both turned towards the dance floor at the sound of Rose's laughter ringing out. Mary groaned a little while Isobel let out a chuckle.

"It seems like someone's enjoying, what the city has to offer."

"Yes," Mary said sighing. "A little too much at times, it seems. She's certainly not lacking potential suitors."

"Well, she's young and a very pretty girl at that. It's only natural that she should attract a lot attention."

"Yes, I suppose. But I do wish she'd go about it a bit more quietly."

"Oh, I'm sure she will in time," Isobel remarked and stayed silent for a few moments after that. "What about your suitors?" she then asked tentatively. When Mary looked at her a little surprised, she quickly added kindly, "I'm not prying. I'm merely asking since they all seem to be here so much." Worried that she'd said the wrong thing, she quickly said, "I'm sorry if I've offended you."

Mary smiled at her. "You haven't, Isobel. And you have a right to ask."

"No, I don't. Your life is your business."

She reached out for Isobel's hand and gave it a squeeze. "You have as much of a right to ask as everyone else in the family," she said and then felt Isobel squeezing her hand in return before both letting go. "And everyone else _is_ asking," she said rolling her eyes in the process.

Isobel chuckled at that. "And what is your response to that?"

"The same answer as I give to Lord Gillingham and Mr. Blake. Which is that I'm still not ready." Then adding more quietly she said, "I'm still not over Matthew, and I won't be for a long time yet."

"You do realize," Isobel said gently, "that Matthew would not want you to be alone. It's alright to still grieve and miss your husband, but in the end you shouldn't let it stop you from falling in love again."

"I know, but I thank you for saying it." They smiled warmly at each other. "But sometimes I don't know, if I'll ever marry again. Sometimes I don't think I want to."

"You may feel like that now, but you're still very young. Perhaps you just need a bit of time, before you allow yourself to be swept away by a suitor."

"You make it sound so romantic."

"There's no reason why it couldn't be."

"But you never married again," Mary said carefully.

Isobel responded with a warm smile showing Mary she wasn't offended. "No, but I was much older than you are now, when Reginald died. Matthew was already a young adult then," she said before more quietly adding, "And besides, I didn't have any suitors wanting to marry me let alone wanting to court me." There was a bit of a long pause after that. "So you see," she then said a little cheerfully a few moments later. "I didn't have a choice."

Mary smiled kindly and then ventured on a little slowly.

"And n.."

"Oh that dreadful woman!" Both Isobel and Mary jumped a little in their seats at hearing Violet's outburst right behind them. "I can't believe her nerve!"

As Violet came to stand before them, Mary and Isobel exchanged knowing glances, and slightly rolled their eyes in the process. They then both bit back their grins, right before they turned to look at Violet.

"What did Grandmama do this time, Granny?"

"It's not what she did, it's what she said!"

"Then what did she say that has you so hot and bothered?" Isobel asked.

"Oh it doesn't bear repeating!" Violet answered more than a little angry. "But I'm not going anywhere near that woman for the rest of the evening!"

Isobel and Mary exchanged glances again trying very hard not to laugh, which thankfully went unnoticed by Violet as she looked behind them to make sure, Martha didn't follow her.

"Well, in that case you're welcome to sit with Isobel and me."

"But there doesn't seem to be an empty chair about."

They all looked around the room, but when neither of them could spot a chair Isobel stood up.

"You can have my seat," she offered.

"I hope you don't intend to just stand there then," Violet replied as she went to take the seat Isobel had just vacated.

Isobel rolled her eyes behind Violet's back in response. Only Mary noticed and she had a hard time keeping the grin off her face.

"No, I'm not. But I've been sitting by myself for far too long that I feel, I should join the others. And as you know," she added a little cheerfully, "I don't mind Mrs. Levinson."

"Yes," Violet grumbled a little, "I know all too well."

Isobel didn't hide her eye roll from Violet this time. "Then I shall go and enjoy her company, and talk to you both later."

Isobel and Mary exchanged smiles before Isobel left.

"Honestly, sometimes I don't know which of the two is worse," Violet grumbled a little, causing Mary to take a long calming breath.

"Well, I like both of them."

"Naturally, you would!"

"But I like you too, Granny," she added smiling warmly at Violet.

Violet returned the smile padding her arm affectionately. "That's nice to hear, my Dear." Violet took a look out on the dance floor, and then looked back at Mary. "So, what did you and Isobel talk about?" she asked a little nonchalantly.

"Oh nothing really. She's just a bit tired from attending all these parties."

"It is rather a lot to take in, when one is not used to them," she agreed.

"Good thing she has a quiet day to look forward to in two days, when she goes to luncheon with Lord Merton," she said as she looked out on the dance floor to keep an eye on Rose.

"Not good for everyone," Violet remarked quietly.

"What was that, Granny?" Mary said turning her attention back towards Violet. "I didn't quite get that."

"I said that it would be good for everyone," she lied smiling.

"And here I thought that you preferred Isobel's company to Grandmama's," she said grinning a little.

"Only sometimes," she replied a little defensively.

"Well, it should prove to be a good day for you as well, then. Not only won't you be dealing with Isobel, but you also won't have to endure Grandmama or Uncle Harold on your own, as we'll all be going to Aunt Rosamund's for luncheon. That should make you happy," Mary said smiling.

"I would be much happier, if Isobel would join us for luncheon," she said quietly and to Mary it sounded almost a little sadly. But before she could ask Violet anymore about it, they both turned their attention to the dance floor as Rose's laughter once again rang out. "Oh good heavens! She's making a spectacle of herself! Not to mention the entire family!"

"Should I go talk to her?"

"You can try, but I don't know what good it will do. I've tried talking to her several times, but it seems to have had very little effect!"

"I'll go talk to her," Mary said and left Violet to wonder, if she was the only reasonable person left in the world.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**To Guest:** Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review - it means so much. I'm thrilled you love the story so much. Hope you continue to like the story. I'm also hoping for a happy ending for them in the _Christmas Special_, but I'm not counting on it.

**NOTE:** My computer crashed Thursday, and I've only gotten it back today. That's why, I have not been able to upload new chapters. I had hoped that I would've been able to finish this story posting the last chapter on the 23rd, but that won't be the case. I'm going home to my parents on the 20th, and while I'm there I won't have time to write on my story. I would have been able to upload the chapters, but that would also be it. And so with only 2-3 days left to write in, I don't see it as a possibility that I will finish this story, as I still believe there will be about 18 chapters all together, and I still have 8 or so chapters to write. But I hope to write more on the story, so that I can post more over the next few days.

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**Chapter 8**

"Welcome," Rosamund greeted as everyone walked in. "So glad to see you all here. Well, almost everyone."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Martha asked raising an eyebrow questioningly and a little challengingly. "You wouldn't by any chance be referring to Harold and I would you?"

"Of course not," she answered though not completely truthfully. "I was referring to Isobel. It's such a shame that she couldn't come. Such a shame she chose to go to luncheon with Lord Merton," she said a little annoyed.

"You don't like him?" Martha asked.

"No, I do not! I thought that much was obvious to you by now," she replied a little surprised and incredulously.

Martha started grinning a little, before taking hold of Rosamund's arms much to her annoyance.

"I do, my Dear. But it's too much fun getting you all riled up." Rosamund gaped at that, while both Violet and Robert rolled their eyes. "Besides," she went on letting go of Rosamund, much to her relief, "I honestly don't understand why you don't like the man. He seems quite charming to me."

"Yes, he may seem that way to you, but unfortunately we are not all born with good taste."

"Now _that_ was definitely directed at me," Martha said though not at all offended by the remark.

"Think what you will."

"But what exactly _is_ your problem with him?" Martha inquired.

"I do not wish to elaborate on that. I've invited you all for a nice luncheon, and it won't be if we're to discuss Lord Merton. So enough of that please!"

Martha held up her hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll say no more on the subject, if that is what you wish."

"It is."

"Very well, very well," she said and started to turn away to the sitting room that one of Rosamund's footmen held the door open to. "Oh but," she said turning back, "I do think that it's very nice that Isobel gets to spend time with him. He seems quite the gentleman, though perhaps a little dull," she said in conclusion, but not missing Rosamund's annoyed eye roll.

"Well, I do agree with the dull part," Rosamund said dryly and a little to herself, as she received sympathetic looks from everyone but Harold, as they joined Martha in the sitting room. She started walking towards the door herself, when she noticed that Violet hadn't followed them. "Aren't you coming, Mama?" When Violet gave no reply and looked rather upset, Rosamund walked back to her. "Mama, are you alright?" she asked concerned.

"Hmm?" Violet blinked turning to Rosamund.

"I asked if you were alright. You don't look at all well. Are you ill?"

"No, no, I'm quite well, thank you," she answered smiling a little, so as not to worry Rosamund.

"Then it was just Martha then," she concluded.

"Yes, it had something to do with what she said," Violet said quietly.

"I don't understa…."

"Telephone call for you, Milady," Rosamund's butler, Mead, interrupted causing them both to look at him.

"Thank you, Mead," she replied dismissing him with a nod. Looking back at Violet and still being a little concerned, she said, "I better get that, Mama. You should join the others."

"Yes, but first I need to use the facilities," she said and started walking in that direction with Rosamund following in the same direction to answer the telephone call, in the library.

Violet returned moments later passing the library on her way to the sitting room.

"Yes that's right The Golden Duckling," she heard Rosamund say causing her to stop immediately and take a few steps back, so she could listen in on the telephone conversation. "Well, you won't know unless you try, and I'd certainly try," she heard Rosamund say with enthusiasm. "You really have nothing to lose," she then heard her say encouragingly. "You are most welcome. Yes, goodbye," she heard her say in conclusion clearly ending the conversation.

"Who were you talking to?" Violet asked startling Rosamund in the process, when she entered the hallway.

"Goodness, Mama!" she said surprised clutching a hand to her heart. "You gave me quite a fright."

"Never mind that," she said causing Rosamund to roll her eyes at the lack of concern for her. "_Who_ were you talking to?"

"No one," she answered surprised by Violet's curiosity."So never you mind," she said smiling.

"But Í do mind."

"Well, it's not something you need to concern yourself with."

"But I do wish to concern myself with it. So _who_ was it?" she pressed on.

"Honestly, Mama," she said a little annoyed. "I'm a grown woman. I don't need to tell you anything, if I don't want to."

"No, that much became apparent last year," she said quietly but with a slight edge to her tone, "when, you and Edith withheld something very important from me."

Rosamund sighed. "But it all worked out in the end," she said just as quietly. "No one but you, Edith, and I know the truth about why she and I went to Switzerland. And that dear litt…"

"Stop!" Violet said holding up a hand stopping Rosamund from going any further. "I may have helped, because it was the right thing to do, and I'm glad to hear that the baby was adopted into a nice family. However," she said a little sharply, "I do not wish to know whether I had a great-granddaughter or a great-grandson," she said then taking a deep breath. "It would hurt too much," she added quietly and a little sadly.

Rosamund gave her a compassionate smile. "I know, Mama. And you have my word that I'll never say."

"Thank you," she said smiling in gratitude. "Now about this telephone call," she then said much more cheerfully. "_Who_ was it?"

"I keep telling you that it was no one important," she said rolling her eyes incredulously.

"But it must have been _someone_," Violet said smiling a little excitedly.

"If you must know it was just a friend of a friend that I was happy to do a favor for. Nothing more than that."

"A friend of a friend?" Violet asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, Mama. Just a friend of a friend, and that's the end of this ridiculous conversation."

"Yes very well, Dear, we'll leave it at that. But I'm very happy to hear that you helped a _friend of a friend_," she said smiling brightly."That's all I needed to know," she added a little to herself.

"Glad to know I've been of help," Rosemund said rolling her eyes, but then eyed Violet a little as she smiled to herself and more excitedly than before. "You certainly seem happier than you did, when you arrived,"she said at the look on Violet's face. "What's gotten into you?"

Violet just shrugged a little smiling very secretly. "Oh nothing, nothing."

"You seem awfully excited over nothing." When Violet simply just kept smiling, Rosamund shook her head. "Well, I'm not curious to know anything more, so I think it's time we join the others. I'm afraid that if we don't, everyone will soon come find us and talk some sense into us for staying away for too long."

"Well, it does work wonders talking sense into people."

"What?" Rosamund asked the confusion evident on her face.

"Nothing, nothing at all," Violet replied smiling even more secretly than before, leaving Rosamund to give her a strange look. "It's certainly turning out to be a wonderful day," she commented happily as they walked towards the sitting room.

"Really?"Rosamund asked incredulously. "With Martha and Harold here? How is that even possible? They're quite intolerable!"

"Oh believe me, My Dear," Violet said padding Rosamund's arm soothingly, much to her surprise. "There are worse things in life," she said leaving a gaping Rosamund behind.

Seconds later Rosamund followed shaking her head not having understood what was going on with Violet.

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you all for your lovely reviews. They mean so much to me. :) Hope you'll like this chapter. :)

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**Chapter 9**

"I'm so glad we decided to go for a walk, before we go to luncheon," Isobel said to Lord Merton taking in the scenery as they strolled through the park.

"Yes, so am I."

At the tone of his voice Isobel looked back at him, her brow frowning a little.

"You look at little distracted," she commented. "Is there something on your mind?"

"There is actually," he said.

"Well, why don't we take a seat," she gestured to the bench up ahead, "and you can tell me all about it," she said smiling.

He pondered the decision for a moment, but then realized there was no point in waiting with the proposal until they got to the restaurant.

"Yes, that sounds like a splendid idea," he agreed smiling.

Smiling in return she let the way to the bench and sat down with him doing so as well.

"So what's on your mind then?" she asked.

"Well," he started slowly, "there is actually something I'd like to talk to you about."

"I'm all ears."

"That's good, but I don't exactly know how to start," he said smiling a little.

"Well, when one often finds oneself in such a situation, it's usually best to just get straight to the point," she encouraged "At least that's what I would do. Best to be straightforward really."

"Yes, I do believe you're right," he said suddenly smiling more than before.

"That's good. So what is it that you'd like to talk to me about?" she asked.

He took a deep breath before exhaling slowly. "I want to talk about taking the next natural step," he said and then without any hesitation added, "Therefore after our many months of courtship, I wa…"

"WHAT?" He jumped a little in his seat at her sudden outburst."COURTSHIP?" she exclaimed completely shocked. "You think we've been _courting_?" she asked in disbelief.

He blinked confusedly at her question. "Yes, of course I do. Don't you?" he asked surprised.

"NO!" she exclaimed horrified at that thought. "No, I most certainly do not!"

"But I thought we had been courting these many months. I had expected that you'd thought so as well, and that you'd then agree to marriage."

"MARRIAGE?" she exclaimed more shocked and horrified than before with her eyes nearly falling out of her head. "You want us to get _married_?" she asked still not believing what she was hearing.

"Yes, very much so, and I thought you felt the same," he said still surprised.

"I don't!

"You don't? You don't wish to marry me?" he asked completely taken aback.

"No, most certainly not!" she answered shaking her head vigorously.

"But I don't understand," he said confused.

"Nor do I so at least we agree on that!" she said then continued before he had a chance to speak. "I don't understand how you could think that I would agree to marriage, when I don't even understand how you could think that we'd been courting," she said still utterly astounded.

"But we've been spending so much time together."

"So you automatically assumed that meant we'd been courting?" she asked aghast.

"Well yes," he said nodding slowly in the process. "That and the fact that I've sent you flowers occasionally."

"That still doesn't mean that we've been courting!" she said firmly.

"It doesn't?" he blinked still completely clueless.

"No, it most certainly does _not_! I thought you merely sent those as a friendly gesture. I thought it was just your way to thank me for my company!"

He shook his head still not understanding. "So if you believe that we haven't been courting, than just what did you assume was happening between us?"

"Nothing! I definitely did not assume _that_! I thought we were merely spending time as friends!"

"But….but….but I sent you flowers …" he said trailing off still not quite sure what to say next. "Do you normally receive flowers from men, who are just your friends?" he asked raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"I do actually," she said making him blink in surprise. "I have a couple of male friends back in Manchester, who send me a bouquet of flowers every year on my birthday, on my wedding anniversary, and one at Christmas," she explained calming down in the process.

"Really?" he uttered astounded.

"Yes really," she said nodding."They started doing it, after I lost my husband. They were all friends of his, you see. Well, they were friends of both of us, and we were friends with their wives as well. And I do believe their wives started the tradition of sending me flowers. But one lost his wife seven years ago, while the other lost his wife five years ago, and they still continue sending me flowers."

"And now that they've both lost their wives, you don't suspect that it's more than just a friendly gesture?"

"Good heavens no," she chuckled heartily.

"Why not?" he asked furrowing his brow.

"Why should I, when it's something they've done for years?" When he merely shrugged, she went on. "Besides, I think it's just something that happens automatically, and that neither men are really aware that they're sending me the flowers," she said shrugging. "There's always a hint of surprise in their voices, when I call to thank them for the flowers, though they're pleased that I'm happy to have received them. So you can see why, I don't believe it's anything more than a friendly gesture."

"Yes, I suppose," he said. "But do you also spend time with them, like you've done with me?"

"Oh yes. I always visit them, whenever I go back to Manchester," she said smiling."I'll either visit them at their home, or we'll go out to luncheon or tea."

"Oh, I see," he said still trying to comprehend what was happening."But that could actually also make people assume that you were courting them. Or make your friends believe that you were courting them."

She chuckled heartily again. "Not where I or they are concerned. It's perfectly natural for us to spend time together without us believing that we're courting. And I don't see why anyone else should believe so either, or why they should even care. Besides, no one can see us, if I go to their homes. And people, who are merely friends, do go out together in public," she explained.

"I suppose they do," he said with a shrug. Then after a pause he added. "But you really didn't think there was a possibility that we were courting?"

Tilting her head to the side she furrowed her brow and spoke calmer. "How could I, when we haven't done any of the things that usually involve a courtship?"

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

She blinked a little not really believing that he was asking her something, which she thought was plainly obvious.

"Well," she started slowly, "for one thing when two people are courting, they usually address each other by their Christian names. Then after some time, some form of endearment is usually used affectionately to address each other with."

"Ah yes of course," he said nodding.

"Touching one another would also be normal in a courtship."

He blinked rather hard at that. "Touching?" She nodded in response. "What do you mean by that exactly?"

Isobel looked at him for a moment, as if he'd grown an extra head. However, after a moment she started explaining carefully.

"It's quite normal in a courtship for the man to offer the woman his arm and for the woman to accept, when they're out walking. Handholding is also quite normal," she explained further.

"Oh yes," he nodded understanding. "Naturally."

"Then there are the more intimate touches," she explained like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"In..intimate touches?" he stuttered eyes widening in the process.

Seeing his reaction Isobel quickly and carefully explained. "Intimate yet innocent touches such as caressing one's cheek or hugging." Seeing him relax immediately, she carefully went on. "And of course kissing would be part of a courtship as well."

"Ah yes," he said smiling a little nervously. "That would naturally all be part of a courtship."

"At least they are to me."

"As I assume they are to most people," he said. "It just didn't happen quite that way with Lady Merton and I."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said sympathetically.

"Thank you," he said smiling in kind, and then after a moment added, "I can see now why, you thought we hadn't been courting."

"Oh I am glad of that," she said smiling and sighing a little that he understood, but also out of relief.

They sat quietly for a few moments lost in their own thoughts, both gazing out at the park in opposite direction.

"I know you said, you didn't want to marry me. But would you consider it?" he suddenly asked, which caught Isobel off guard, making her snap her head back to his.

"What?" she asked completely surprised. "But I…"

"Please just hear me out," he quickly but gently interrupted.

"Alright," she said calmly nodding slowly.

"In all the time we've spent together my affection for you have grown quite strong." Her eyes widened at his revelation, but she remained silent as he carried on. "The truth is that I never felt this way about Lady Merton, as I'm sure you're only well aware of by now." She nodded in response as he continued. "I will be a good, caring, and faithful husband to you, and I will make sure that you never have to want for anything. So with that in mind will you consider marrying me?" he asked smiling hopeful.

"But I don't love you," she replied gently.

"No, not at this present moment, I realize," he sighed a little sadly, but was still determined not to give up. "But with time you might come to think differently. I don't expect," he added quickly, when he could see that she was about to open her mouth to speak, "that you'll ever love me as much as you loved your husband. But I would hope," he continued more gently, "that you could grow to love me in some way, and that you'd be happy with me."

She sighed hating to let him down, when he seemed to care so much. "I could never marry for companionship," she said shaking her head gently, "which is what our marriage would be based on. But more importantly I could never enter into a marriage, where I would be required to give a part of myself to you, which I wouldn't be willing to give freely."

He knitted his brows in confusion. "I'm not quite sure I know, what you mean."

"By law a husband has the right to demand that his wife attends to his needs by performing her wifely duties. In other words he has the right to demand that she makes love to him, even if she isn't willing to do so freely," she explained carefully.

"Oh," he said blushing and looked away. "Yes, of course. I understand that now."

"And," she went on gently, "while you may think that I would grow to love you, I know I never could. My heart belongs to someone else, you see."

He closed his eyes at her final rejection, and nodded his head slowly. "Of course it does. You still love your husband deeply after all these years."

"Yes, I do," she replied softly. "He'll always have a special place in my heart. But…" She stopped herself immediately, when realizing what she was about to reveal.

She looked away hoping that he hadn't noticed. But seconds later she felt his eyes on her.

"But?" he prompted. "You love someone else?" he asked surprised.

Not really wanting to reveal her secret, she also felt that she owed him the truth. Turning her eyes back on him she nodded.

"Yes. I'm in love with someone else," she said honestly.

He blinked surprised by her answer. "Goodness," he said and blinked a couple more times."I had no idea."

"Nor does he," she said softly looking away again.

"Forgive me for asking," he said gently. "But why does he not know?"

She shrugged. "We're very good friends, and I don't wish to ruin that. Besides," she added, "I know that he doesn't love me," she said smiling sadly.

"Then he's a fool, if he doesn't love you."

She looked back at him. "Like I'm a fool for not loving you?" she asked smiling a little.

"No, you're no fool," he said with a shake of his head and a soft smile on his lips. "I thought that we were courting and that you cared for me, like I care for you. That's the difference."

"Perhaps," she said shrugging. "But," she went on, "he's no fool either. At least not to me he isn't," she said making him nod in understanding. She then smiled apologetically at him. "I really am very sorry, if I've let you on," she said sincerely. "If I'd known how you felt, I would have stopped it long before it came to this."

He shook his head dismissing her apology. "The fault is entirely mine. I know now that I should've made my intentions more clear. You're not to blame at all."

"I want you to know that I'm very flattered by your affection and proposal." He smiled at that."And I am really very sorry that I'm disappointing you by not reciprocating," she said kindly.

He shook his head. "Please don't be. As I said the fault is mine entirely. And while I am sad that the outcome is not the one, I hoped for, I very much appreciate your honesty."

"I'm glad of that," she said smiling at his kindness. There were a few moments of silence between them, before she spoke again. "And with that in mind, I think we should go our separate ways."

He blinked taken aback. "You don't wish to go to luncheon?" he asked completely surprised.

"I don't think it's a good idea considering, what's happened between us. Do you?" she asked gently.

"No, I suppose not," he said sighing deeply but managed to offer her a little smile.

"I really am sorry, when you've made such lovely plans," she said smiling apologetically. "But I really do believe, it's for the best." He nodded in response. "Perhaps you could find someone else to go with you. I know it would be short notice, but I'm sure you can find someone. I would hate for you to cancel. You deserve to have a good meal in an extravagant restaurant, when I've disappointed you so."

"Not sure I'd really want to go, or that I'd be much company to anyone to be honest. And whoever I would find would not be as pleasant company as you," he said honestly, "But," he said hurriedly as he saw that she was about to apologize again, "it might be a good idea to go." He took a moment to consider it and then nodded. "Yes, I think I will go, and I'm sure I can find someone to come with me."

She sighed in relief. "I'm very glad to hear that," she said smiling.

He merely managed to smile a little in return.

"Can I take you anywhere before we part ways?" he asked.

"Thank you that's very kind of you, but I can make my own way back," she answered. "Besides, I think I'll walk around for a bit and maybe get a bite to eat, before heading back. Since I so rarely go to London, I want to take advantage of the beautiful scenery."

"I understand," he said offering her a kind smile and stood up when she did.

She reached out her hand for him to shake. "Goodbye, Lord Merton. I've enjoyed getting to know you, and I wish you nothing but happiness. And I truly hope you find it."

He took her hand and shook it. "So this is goodbye for good then?" he asked sighing a little sadly letting go of her hand.

"I think it's the wisest and the most sensible thing to do. It would be too awkward for us to spend time together after this, I believe."

"Yes, of course. Of course, you're right," he said nodding. "It would be very awkward." He sighed again but then managed to smile a little. "Goodbye then, Mrs. Crawley. I wish you nothing but happiness as well."

"Goodbye, Lord Merton," she said smiling sympathetically.

He gave her a nod and after another moment of looking at each other, she turned to leave to go in one direction. Seconds later she heard him turning in the opposite direction and leaving as well.

She took the path on her left, knowing that the trees would allow her to be hidden away in case he'd look back in her direction. When she knew that she was safely hidden away from his sight, she stopped to take in what had happened. As she replayed it all in her mind, her eyes widened and she pursed her lips still being shocked and surprised of how, he'd thought that they were courting.

After another moment of thinking about it, she smiled at how truly flattered she'd been that Lord Merton had felt that way about her and at her age. But her smile then turned into a sad one, when she thought of whom, she'd rather have declaring his feelings for her. However, knowing that Richard would never feel the same way about her that she did about him, she sighed deeply and continued walking.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you all so much for your kindness. I really appreciate it. :) Hope you'll enjoy the chapter. :)

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**Chapter 10**

"Hello everyone," Isobel greeted as she walked into Rosamund's sitting room. They all turned towards her blinking in surprise. "I hope you don't mind me joining you?" she asked directing the question to Rosamund, when she saw the look on everyone's faces.

"Of course not," Rosamund replied with a smile walking towards her. "I think we're all just surprised to see you so soon. We all expected you to still be at luncheon. Having luncheon at The Golden Duckling is no quick affair, and we only just finished with our own luncheon." She then looked behind Isobel towards the door, and then back at Isobel. "Is Lord Merton with you?" she asked trying not to sound annoyed with just mentioning the man's name.

"No, he's not," she replied with a shake of her head. "And we never went to The Golden Duckling for luncheon. Or at least I didn't go."

"Why not?" Cora asked curiously. "It's such a luxuries restaurant, and the food is simply to die for," she said with a big bright smile on her face. "You must've had a very good reason, if you decided not to go to luncheon there."

"I did," she replied nodding. "When I turned down his marriage proposal, I thought that it was best not to go to luncheon," she said rather bluntly.

Everyone in the room stared wide eyed at her, before they turned to each other to see, if they indeed had all heard the same thing. When it seemed they had, they all turned their attention back to Isobel.

Mary was the first to find her voice. "What?" she asked shaking her head in the process still not convinced, she'd heard Isobel correctly.

Isobel was about to give Mary a reply, when Rosamund cut across first. "He asked you to marry him?" she asked surprised.

Turning now towards Rosamund Isobel was about to answer, when Cora asked another question. "Why did you turn him down?" She was equally surprised as the rest.

Isobel turned her head towards Cora, but before she could even open her mouth to speak, Martha had a remark of her own. "Oh yes do tell," she said intrigued leaning forward in her seat. "I bet there's a fascinating story behind it."

Isobel took a moment to see, if anyone else would ask her a question. But when silence once again fell upon the room, she felt she could start to answer their questions.

"Well," she began, "at first he didn't get the chance to propose, as I was rather shocked, when he mentioned we'd been courting these many months. So I interrupted him before he even had a chance to ask," she explained.

"You mean you hadn't been courting these many months, he's been to visit you?" Cora asked surprised.

Isobel blinked at her question. She then took a look around the room and saw that almost everyone seemed equally surprised.

She blinked again and then shook her head. "No, we haven't. Did you all think we had?" she asked just as surprised as Cora had asked.

Everyone looked around at each other, and while some nodded others just shrugged.

"I think most of us did, yes," Mary replied.

"To be honest I haven't had the time to give it that much thought," Edith answered.

"I actually thought he might've just been your lover," Martha said cheerfully.

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Robert exclaimed aghast.

"I quite agree!" Rosamund exclaimed just as aghast. "Please, let's have none of that talk!"

Martha chuckled at their outbursts and that everyone but Harold and Rose were looking rather uncomfortable at her remark.

"You English people are so uptight," she said. "Why shouldn't Mrs. Crawley take a lover at her age?" she asked. "It's not like she'll end up pregnant or anything like that," she said making everyone gape, but not making anyone take note of Edith's discomfort.

Rosamund shook her head. "I wasn't disputing whether Mrs. Crawley should have a lover or not," she argued. "It's the fact that Lord Merton should be anyone's lover that I'm quite uncomfortable hearing about."

"Enough!" Robert nearly roared. "This is not a suitable conversation to be having. It stops this instant!" he said firmly.

Martha grinned. "Oh relax, Robert. It's just a bit of fun."

"It's not fun!" he argued. "It's making everyone highly uncomfortable."

"Actually, I'm not uncomfortable," Harold supplied with a grin.

"See?" Martha said looking at Robert. "Harold is not the least bit uncomfortable, and nor am I."

Robert rolled his eyes groaning, and was about to argue again, when Cora cut across before he had a chance to say anything.

"Mother, please just stop," she told Martha calmly though with a slight edge to her tone. "The same goes for you, Harold," she told him, when she saw that he was about to open his mouth to give a reply. He held his hands up in surrender, and gave Cora a nod.

Cora then looked back at Martha and gave her a pointedly look, causing Martha to hold up her hands in surrender, too.

"Alright, alright, I'll stop," she said.

Cora looked between Martha and Harold one more time to make sure that they did indeed intend to stop, before looking back at Isobel.

"Please continue," she told her while giving her an apologetic smile in the process.

Isobel smiled a little in return but then shook her head. "I really don't know why, you all thought we'd been courting, when we haven't spent that much time together," she said still rather surprised by it all. "We never even addressed each other by our Christian names."

"No, I suppose you never did," Cora said realizing that fact. "But then what happened?"

"He went on to explain that since he thought, I felt the same way about him that he felt about me, it meant that I'd agree to marry him. I was even more shocked by that," she chuckled as she recalled her reaction. "Then after telling him that I didn't want to marry him, I went on to explain to him why, I never thought we'd been courting."

"I take it, he understood that then?" Mary asked.

"He did," she said nodding. "But then he went on to ask me to marry him again, because he thought that I'd grow to love him in time."

"But obviously you turned him down then, too," Cora said.

"Yes," Isobel said. "If I'd agreed to marry him, it would've been a marriage based on companionship for me, and I could never marry for anything less than love," she explained exchanging a knowing glance with Mary and Tom, all three remembering their conversation they'd had at the Abbey. "And," she said looking back around at everyone, "I don't love Lord Merton, and I could never grow to love him. So after that I thought it was best not to go to luncheon together, and we parted ways."

Everyone nodded in understanding as the door opened and Violet entered.

"Isobel," she said surprised. "You're here."

"Yes, I am," she said smiling.

"And you won't believe the day, she's had," Cora said.

"Oh? Why what happened?" Violet asked nonchalantly.

Before Isobel could answer Martha cut across. "Well, to start with Lord Merton nearly asked her to marry him, but it was stopped before he could get the words out," she said chuckling.

"Thank heavens he came to his senses!" Violet exclaimed in happiness causing everyone to blink in surprise, and Isobel to frown a little hurt by her comment.

"Well, it actually seems that Lord Merton didn't quite have his senses about him," Martha explained.

"Oh, I'm not referring to Lord Merton," Violet said cheerfully.

"Then who are you referring to?" Cora asked confusedly.

"You know very well, who I am referring to," Violet answered.

Cora shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't," she replied back.

"And I'm afraid that neither do the rest of us, Granny," Mary said.

Violet looked around the room to see that everyone was wearing the same confused expression. She blinked a little at first, but then started to chuckle.

"You're not fooling me, so you might as well stop right now," she said while continuing to chuckle. But when she saw that they still remained confused, she rolled her eyes. "Alright, I'll humor you all, if that will satisfy you," she said slightly annoyed that she had to give in to their antics.

"Yes, please do," Isobel said. "So who are you referring to?" she asked curiously.

"Well, Dr. Clarkson naturally," she said as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Dr. Clarkson?" Isobel repeated utterly surprised, while everyone looked just as surprised by the mention of the name.

"Yes, of course," Violet replied.

"Why would Dr. Clarkson have stopped the proposal?" Rosamund asked.

Violet turned to her. "You more than anyone should know the answer to that," she said while Rosamund remained confused. "The telephone conversation earlier," she reminded Rosamund. "A friend of a friend indeed," she said chuckling. "No, my Dear, you didn't fool me," she said triumphantly.

"I'm still confused," Mary said shaking her head. "Why exactly would Dr. Clarkson call here and then stop the proposal?"

"Oh for goodness sake," Violet huffed. "I agreed to play your silly game to humor you all, but now this silliness really must stop."

"Please, Granny," Mary said smiling brightly trying to convince Violet that it was all still part of whatever game, Violet thought they were playing with her. "Just humor us for a little while longer. Why would Dr. Clarkson call here or stop the proposal?" she asked gently.

Violet huffed again not being amused by their behavior, but decided to humor them nonetheless.

"Because he's in love with Isobel," she finally answered. Silence fell upon the room again as everyone stared wide eyed and open mouthed at Violet. After a few moments, she rolled her eyes. "Alright you've had your fun, so you can all stop now," she said annoyed. "Where is Dr. Clarkson anyway?" she asked starting to look around the room. "Did he go back to the hotel to change?" she asked Isobel.

Although still being utterly shocked by the revelation, Isobel shook her head and somehow managed to keep her voice calm.

"No, he's not, because as far as I know, he's not in London."

Violet narrowed her eyes in confusion this time. "He's not?" she asked but then watched Isobel shake her head. "But the telephone conversation," she said turning to Rosamund. "That was Dr. Clarkson on the telephone, was it not?"

"No, Mama," she said shaking her head. "My friend Julia Crawford has a friend visiting London, but who knows nothing of the restaurants here. She'd heard great reviews about The Golden Duckling, and knowing that I'd been there, Julia gave her my telephone number, so that I could verify the information. So the telephone conversation earlier was with a friend of a friend as I told you."

"So who stopped the proposal then?" Violet asked once again directing her attention to Isobel.

"I did," Isobel explained. "At first Lord Merton didn't really get the chance to propose, as I was too shocked to find out that he thought we'd been courting, and that he thought I felt about him the way he felt about me. When I'd then explained to him that I didn't love him and why, I thought we'd never been courting, he then asked me to marry him again. But I turned him down, because I could never love him and I can't marry for companionship only," she said talking a calming breath.

Violet's eyes widened a little at the information. "Ah I see," she said calmly. "Well, then never mind what I said," she said cheerfully trying to pretend that nothing had happened, as she walked over to take a seat on the sofa.

"Oh no you don't!" Isobel told her getting in her way. "I want to know why you think that Dr. Clarkson loves me."

"I'm also rather curious to hear the answer to that," Martha replied with a grin.

"For once I actually agree with you," Robert told Martha. "I think you better start to explain, Mama," he said.

When she received another pointed stare from Isobel, Violet sighed. She then decided to give in and started to explain directing her attention at Isobel.

"Lately whenever you've mentioned Lord Merton's name in Dr. Clarkson's presence, I've noticed that he looked rather dejected." Isobel blinked in surprise at that. "Then when you told me that he'd been rather abrupt with you, when you'd met him in the village on the day we left for London, it as good as confirmed my suspicion," she explained. "But yet I wasn't completely sure," she said giving a small shrug and giving a small innocent smile.

Realization dawned on Isobel. "The business in the village that couldn't wait until we got back from London. You went to the hospital to talk to him," she stated matter-of-factly making Violet nod. "But why go talk to him then? I don't understand."

"I knew that Lord Merton planned on proposing to you in London at The Golden Duckling, and thought that if Dr. Clarkson did indeed love you, he would be the only one to stop you from accepting Lord Merton," she explained calmly.

Isobel gaped at that information and stared wide eyed. "You knew Lord Merton was planning to propose?" Violet nodded. "How did you know that?" she asked utterly shocked.

"Never mind that," Violet said shaking her head dismissing the question.

"Yes, bu.."

"It's not important," Violet said cutting Isobel off.

Isobel rolled her eyes at that. "Fine then!" she said with a slight edge to her tone. "So you went to the hospital, asked Dr. Clarkson if he loved me, and he just confessed?"

"Oh heavens no!" Violet said. "The man's stubborn as a mule, and would admit to nothing at first. However, he did give himself away a bit, when I told him that Lord Merton planned to propose to you here. But you won't believe what I had to say to finally get him to admit that he was in love with you," she said then shaking her head to get that particular part of the conversation out of her head. "Not that it's important to repeat that exact part," she said leaving no room to argue with her on that point.

"But apparently it wasn't enough for him to change his mind, since he never showed up," Cora said.

"No, it wasn't. I gave him the number to Grantham House and to here. But it seems he didn't bother to listen. The man was just going to accept that Isobel was going to marry Lord Merton," Violet said with a slight annoyance to her tone that Dr. Clarkson had kept to his word of not telling Isobel that he loved her.

"So," Isobel began a little nervously, "what did he say, when he finally admitted that he loved me? What was his reaction to him believing that I was going to marry Lord Merton?" she asked softly.

Violet blinked at the change in Isobel countenance, and then smiled at her warmly.

"He said that he'd be heartbroken, if you married Lord Merton, and that it would be the worst thing imaginable," Isobel gasped a little at that and stared wide eyed. "He then said that nothing in the world mattered more to him than your happiness, and that he wouldn't stand in the way of that. His own happiness didn't matter to him he said. Then he further said that he would not wish to cause you any grief, and that he'd rather remain your friend than risk losing your friendship," she explained.

"Oh how romantic," Rose sighed dreamily.

"Yes, it is rather," Violet agreed. "But then the man went on to say that if Isobel did marry Lord Merton, he'd leave Downton because he wouldn't be able to cope seeing her, whenever she came back to visit," she said rolling her eyes. "Never in my life have I heard anything more absurd," she said shaking her head.

"That's actually also rather romantic, Granny," Edith replied shaking her own head at how Violet could think that it was absurd.

"Yes, I suppose it is," Violet admitted. "And the man did also seem devastated at the thought of Isobel marrying Lord Merton. I've actually never seen a man more broken. The man was close to tears," she explained.

"Really?" Isobel asked with a voice full of emotion.

"Yes, really," Violet replied softly smiling warmly.

Rose sighed again smiling happily, while some smiled happily as well and others were still shocked at the revelation.

"There's still one thing I don't understand," Mary said confusedly. "Since you knew that Lord Merton was going to propose to Isobel, why did you wait until the last minute to tell Dr. Clarkson? Why didn't you tell him the minute you knew of Lord Merton's plans?"

"Because it was Isobel's behavior in the car and the conversation we had, which led me to believe that our dear Isobel has feelings for Dr. Clarkson, too," she smiled a little triumphantly as Isobel blushed a little.

Mary smiled at that. "Isobel, is this true?" she asked.

"Oh please say it is," Rose squealed excitedly.

Isobel blushed even more wringing her hands in the process. "Well, I…I…" she said trailing off ducking her head but smiled shyly.

"I think that's answer enough," Mary said smiling warmly at Isobel. "So we will ask no further," she said knowing full well how annoying it was to have everyone asking questions like that.

"I quite agree," Rosamund said. "But I do think you should call Dr. Clarkson. You should let him know, what's happened and tell him how you feel," she told Isobel kindly.

"Yes, and you won't even notice the rest of us standing around the telephone, listening in on your conversation," Martha said with a teasing twinkle in her eyes.

"I assure you that you will have complete privacy," Rosamund told Isobel. "And that _no one_," she said annoyed giving Martha a glare in the process, "will disturb your conversation."

Isobel smiled kindly at Rosamund for her support and offer, but then her smile faded.

"It's very kind of you to offer, but I won't be calling Dr. Clarkson," she said shaking her head. "I just can't."

Everyone blinked a little in surprise at the change in Isobel and her answer, and Rose pouted sighing heavily.

Rosamund nodded understanding. "As you wish. But is there anything, we can do for you? Anything at all?" she asked kindly.

Isobel nodded. "Yes, there are two things actually," she said.

Rosamund smiled at that. "What can we do for you then?"

Isobel raised her head determination shining in her eyes. "There's a train leaving for Downton in less than an hour. In about 50 minutes actually," she said looking at the clock. "Can you see if you could get me a ticket for that?"

Blinking in surprise at her request at first Rosamund quickly came back to her senses. "Yes, of course."

"I don't care where I sit," Isobel explained. "Third class would do me just fine. And if you can't get that, I'll be happy to sit with the engine driver," she said smiling.

"She's actually not joking about that," Violet explained.

Shaking her head at Violet's comment Rosamund turned around heading towards the door.

"Mead!" she called out causing Violet to grimace.

"Have we stopped using the bell all of a sudden?" she asked a little annoyed.

Rosamund ignored her and instead focused on a slightly confused Mead, who appeared in the door.

"Yes, Milady."

"I need you to book a train ticket for Mrs. Crawley for the next train leaving for Downton. Whether it's in first or third class is irrelevant. It leaves in less than 50 minutes, so you need to hurry."

"Yes, Milady," Mead replied with a nod and left in a hurry.

Turning around Rosamund made her way back to Isobel. "You said there were two things, we could do for you. So what is the second thing?" she asked.

"I need to borrow your chauffeur, so that I can go back to Grantham House to pack some of my things. And then I'll also need him to take me to the train station," she explained. "If that's alright?" she asked after seeing the look on Rosamund's face.

"It's more than alright," she said smiling gently. "But as I didn't expect that anyone would be in the need of my chauffeur, while everyone was here, I told him he could take some time off to run some errands. I'm afraid he won't be back for another hour or two," she said.

"Is the car still here?" Tom asked stepping quickly towards them.

"Yes, it is," Rosamund said.

"Then I'll drive her. I'll take her to Grantham House first, and then from there to the train station. It'll be much quicker than a taxi," he said smiling. "And if she's not able to get a train ticket, I'll drive her back to Downton myself," he stated firmly. "If that's alright with you of course?" he asked Rosamund but kept smiling as he was certain the answer was yes.

She smiled at him. "It's more than alright, Tom," she told him as Mead entered the room.

"I was able to get Mrs. Crawley a train ticket for third class, Milady," he said.

"That's marvelous," Isobel said smiling happily. "Thank you so much," she told him gratefully, while he gave a nod in reply.

"Mr. Branson will be taking Mrs. Crawley back to Grantham House, so please show him where the car is," Rosamund told Mead.

"Very well, Milady," he said giving a slight bow. "If you'll follow me, Sir," he said addressing Tom.

Tom gave him a nod and then looked at Isobel. "I'll meet you out front." She nodded at him in return and he then left with Mead.

"Well, if you're leaving London in less than one hour, you need help packing," Mary said to Isobel. "So I'm coming with you to help you pack, and to see you off," she explained smiling warmly at Isobel.

"I'm coming, too," Edith said giving a small genuinely smile, which didn't go unnoticed by Violet and Rosamund. It was the first time since coming back from Switzerland that she'd shown any kind of true happiness. "Two helpers are better than one."

"Can I come, too?" Rose asked excitedly. "Oh please, please, please," she begged.

"No!" Mary told her firmly. "You're far too excited, and we need to be discreet so that no one back at the house calls Downton, and lets Dr. Clarkson know that Isobel is coming back."

Mary and Robert exchanged glances, both full well knowing that Barrow might easily ruin everything, if he found out why Isobel was suddenly going home so suddenly.

"But I want to help," Rose whined.

"Well, you can't!" Mary rolled her eyes at having to tell Rose no twice. "Besides, there is no room in the car with only room for two in the back, and one up front with Tom."

Rose pouted at that and Martha put an arm around her shoulders. "Best you stay here with me, and we'll have some fun while the others are gone," she said with a twinkle in her eyes causing Rose to smile a little and Violet to roll her eyes.

"And on that note, I think we best be off," Mary said.

"Now, make sure you call and tell us everything that went on between you and Dr. Clarkson," Cora said excitedly.

"Cora, don't expect her to call you straight away," Martha told her. "She and the doctor will probably be _very_ busy," she said winking and then grinned.

Robert groaned but said nothing this time, but his reaction to what Martha had said caused Violet to grip her cane a little tighter.

"Please don't tell me, she's referring to what I think she's referring to?" Violet asked through slightly gritted teeth.

Mary shook her head. "Don't ask, Granny." She then looked at the clock. "We really should be off now. Tom will be waiting with the car."

"Yes, of course," Isobel said nodding. She then looked around at everyone. "Sorry to have to leave you so suddenly, but I feel I must," she said smiling.

"No need to apologize," Cora told her smiling warmly at her. "We all understand."

Isobel took another look around and saw that everyone was nodding, and that they indeed understood. It warmed her heart to know that they cared that much.

"Go get your man, Cousin Isobel," Rose encouraged enthusiastically smiling brightly.

"Ah yes well….well…well thank you," Isobel told her not really knowing what else to tell her. "Thank you all," she said addressing the rest of them, who nodded in reply. "And thank you," she told Violet sincerely and warmly.

Before Violet had the time to offer her more than a smile, Isobel threw her arms around her hugging Violet tightly, which made everyone stare wide eyed and then made them try their best to cover their grins. However, Violet stiffened at being hugged, and when Isobel felt her discomfort she let go of her.

Getting over the discomfort Violet managed to smile a little. "Not quite the need for that kind of appreciation," she said taking a calming breath. "But you're welcome," she told her warmly.

The held each other's gaze for a few moments more, but then Isobel nodded. "We're off then."

"I'll walk you out," Rosamund said.

Casting one last look at everyone, Isobel gave them one more smile and left the room with Rosamund, Mary, and Edith.

Once outside Mary and Edith got into the back of the car, while Isobel took a moment to say goodbye to Rosamund.

"I don't know how to repay you for your kindness," Isobel told Rosamund.

Rosamund shook her head. "You don't have to repay me at all," she said smiling kindly. "And even if you did, you just repaid me back by hugging Mama. That was quite a sight," she told her through her laughter.

Isobel joined in her laughter. "Still," she said when her laughter had died down, "I'm very grateful for your help," she said genuinely.

"Think nothing of it," Rosamund told her. "Now in the words of our young Rose, go get your man," she said encouragingly but not as enthusiastically as Rose had done.

Isobel blushed a little but managed to nod at Rosamund, before getting into the car and driving off.

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you all so very much for reading and for all the lovely reviews. It's greatly appreciated. :) I haven't had the time to write the last few days, and I won't have time to write before Friday. I haven't written chapter 12 yet, and don't know how fast I'll be able to have it written, once I have the time to write again. Therefore it'll probably be a while, before a new chapter is posted. However, since chapter 11 was done, I thought I'd post it now that I have the time. :)

**To Guest:** Thank you for thinking the story is great. :)

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. :)

* * *

**Chapter 11**

Richard walked into his cottage and hung his hat up while putting his bag on the table in the hallway. He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face, as he made his way towards the kitchen.

Since his conversation with Violet he'd spent most of his time at the hospital. He had wanted to keep his mind off of the fact that Lord Merton was going to propose to Isobel. And so he'd gone to the hospital earlier in the morning than usual and arrived home much later, than he was used to. However, unfortunately there hadn't been many patients at the hospital, or people coming in for appointments, and even the housecalls had been few and far between. That had meant that the majority of his time had been spent in his office reading medical journals, which unfortunately meant that he'd still thought a lot about Isobel and Lord Merton.

During the first week his staff had left him alone, but it hadn't gone unnoticed by him that they had started giving him curious looks. At the start of the second week a few of the nurses had started asking, if he was alright. But he'd assured them that everything was fine, and they'd left him alone after that, though the worried looks hadn't stopped. Because of that he'd started arriving a little later and gone home earlier the last few days, but he'd still kept on reading medical journals when he'd come home.

He was about to reach for a glass in his cupboard to get a glass of water, when there was a knock on his front door. Making his way back to the front door, he hoped that he was needed for an emergency, as he'd be glad of any distraction to take his mind off of Isobel.

But when he opened the door, he came face to face with the last person that he expected to see.

He stared dumbfounded for a few moments before finding his voice. "Mrs. Crawley," he said utterly shocked.

"Good evening, Dr. Clarkson," she greeted him cheerfully. "I'm sorry to bother you at home," she told him smiling.

"That's quite alright," he said still completely surprised that she was there.

"Can I come in?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

He shook his head and offered her an apologetically smile. "Yes, of course. Come in," he said opening the door wider to let her in. "Let me take your coat," he offered once she was inside.

"Thank you," she said letting him take her coat and allowing him to hang it up.

Still feeling stupefied at her presence in his cottage, he had to shake his head one more time, when he felt that he was staring stupidly at her.

"Forgive my manners," he apologized with a smile, but she dismissed it with a shake of her head. "If you'll come this way," he said gesturing for her to follow him.

"Of course."

He let her in to the sitting room turning on the lights as he entered. Holding the door open for her, she entered letting him close the door behind her. He looked at her for a moment watching her take in the surroundings, before he shook himself from his thoughts.

"I apologize if it's a bit too cold. I only just arrived home a short while ago, so I'm afraid I haven't had the time to start a fire," he said once again smiling apologetically.

She shook her head smiling. "That's quite alright."

"Let me just start the fire, and then we can talk," he told her.

"Alright," she said nodding. He gave a nod as well as he walked over to start the fire, while she looked around the room again. "Busy day at the hospital?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

"No, not at all," he replied. "In fact it's been rather quiet lately."

"Oh?" she said turning back towards him. She then titled her head to the side in thought. "Then why did you only just arrive home?" she asked curiously. "I would've thought with not much work to do, you would have been able to leave sooner."

Swallowing hard at her question he focused on the fire for a few moments, so that he could come up with a plausible excuse. He knew that if he looked at her directly, she'd more than likely be able to tell that he was lying.

"I was reading medical journals," he finally said after a few moments of silence, and then turned to look at her. "I guess, I just lost track of the time," he said with a shrug and smiled a little. He was glad to see that it seemed that she believed him. Turning his attention back to the fire, he had it lit a few seconds later. "There," he said as he stood up. "That should make the room nice and warm in a minute or so."

"That sounds lovely," she told him smiling.

He smiled back at her. "Can I get you something to drink?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, not at the moment, but thank you," she told him kindly.

He nodded in response. "Please, have a seat," he told her gesturing to his armchair closets to the fire.

"Thank you," she said as she walked over and sat down.

He sat down as well sitting down in the middle of the sofa that was in front of the fire.

"I must admit that I'm quite surprised to see you. I would've thought, you would be in London for a long time still," he told her still very puzzled of not only her presence in Downton, but also of her presence in his home. "And I must admit that I'm also rather puzzled as to why, you've come to see me," he said knitting his brow in confusion.

"Well, unexpected events occurred that required me to change my plans," she explained. "Life altering really," she said smiling brightly. "So I felt it necessary to come back to Downton as soon as possible to start making arrangements so to speak."

"I see," he said nodding slowly. "And what are these life altering plans then, if I may ask?" He feared he knew what the answer would be, and he mentally prepared himself for the worst moment of his life.

"Lord Merton asked me to marry him," she told him smiling happily.

Although this was the answer he expected, the knowledge of knowing the answer could not have prepared him for how it made him feel hearing the words coming from Isobel's lips. It felt like his heart was torn into a million pieces without the hope of it ever being mended.

Realizing he'd actually stopped breathing, Richard quickly took a couple of deep breaths through his nose, when he felt his lungs needed oxygen. Feeling that his emotions would take over any minute, and that he might break down, he quickly forced himself to smile hoping that it would convince her that he was happy for her.

"Congratulations," he said trying to sound cheerful, though he knew that his voice was thick with emotions that were anything but cheerful. "I'm happy for you," he told her.

He felt he needed to say more and that he would have, if he truly didn't love her. That if she really was only a friend to him, he would've sounded much more enthusiastically. But he just couldn't get any other words out.

Her smile faded and she narrowed her eye at him questioningly. "Are you really happy?" she asked.

Taken aback by her sudden change, Richard blinked a few times but then tried his best to offer her a smile again. "Yes, of course I am," he told her.

Isobel pursed her lips in thought. "Hmm," she commented tilting her head to the side in the process, and then sat up a little straighter. "Funny you should say that, because that's not exactly what Cousin Violet told me."

For the second time with only a few moments apart, Richard stopped breathing for a few seconds. He gaped and stared wide eyed for what seemed ages, before finally finding his voice.

"What?" he replied completely shocked. He then blinked hard a few times and then shook his head. "I don't know what the Dowager has told you," he said looking away nervously for a minute, but then felt he had to look at her again.

"Well," she said slowly, "then allow me to remind you. She told me all about the conversation, she'd had with you on the day we left for London," she told him bluntly. "Do you know now?"

He gaped at her again. "I….I…" he trailed off not knowing what to say. He then shook his head. "You can't believe everything, she tells you."

"You and I both know that if she was here, she'd tell you that she's never wrong," she reminded him. "Though I don't always agree with that, I do believe she's right in this case." She looked at him carefully. "So is she right?" she asked.

He shut his eyes tightly and breathed deeply. "Mrs. Crawley, please," he pleaded. "You can't ask me that."

"I think you'll find that I actually can, and that I'm rather entitled to an answer," she told him with a slight edge to her tone that he wasn't making this easier. When there was a long pause she got a bit more frustrated. "I would appreciate an answer," she told him a bit more sharply.

"It's not that simple," he told her.

Now she gaped at him getting more irritated with his reluctance to give her a straight answer. "It _is_ that simple. She's either right or she's wrong. So which one is it?"

He groaned slightly at her relentlessness. "Mrs. Crawley, please do not…I cannot….it's really not…" he sighed deeply and got up from his seat and started pacing his sitting room a bit away from her. He stopped after a few moments with his back to her.

Exasperated with his behavior Isobel got up from her seat as well, and stopped a few feet away from him.

"Yes or no?" she asked him sharply. "Is what Cousin Violet told me about your conversation with her at the hospital true or not?" she demanded.

He sighed deeply and hung his head before reluctantly turning around after a few moments. Opening his eyes slowly he straightened his head a little and looked at her defeated.

"If she told you everything that we talked about, then yes. It's all true," he finally admitted.

"Well, one could hardly tell with the way you've been acting of late," she said still rather annoyed.

He blinked confusedly not expecting that reaction at all. "What do you mean?" he asked knitting his brow in confusion.

"For one thing you were rather curt with me, on the day we left for London," she told him.

"I explained myself to you, when you came to the hospital," he reminded her gently though she had still sounded irritated.

"Yes, thank you, I do remember that conversation very well," she told him with an edge to her tone, which actually caused him to roll his eyes slightly. "But how could I possibly know that you cared, when it seemed you stopped caring long before that?"

"Stopped caring?" he asked completely surprised. "I _never_ stopped caring," he told her imploringly. "I know we haven't spent much time together in the recent months. We've had plans that we've had to cancel due to my work," he reminded her. "You've also been at the Abbey a lot," he then said. "And then of course you've been spending a lot of time with Lord Merton," he told her a bit more quietly.

"I'm not talking about all of that," she told him a bit sharply. "It happened long before all of that."

He blinked being shocked by her words. "_Before_ all of that?" She nodded in response. "When exactly? I don't remember anything like that at all."

"Oh honestly!" she exclaimed frustrated throwing her hands up into the air. He gaped at her reaction, but then crossed his arms over his chest getting irritated now, too. "Does the matter of young Pegg ring any bells?" she asked him frustrated.

"What about Pegg?" he asked now with an edge to his own tone.

"_You_," she pointed a finger at him accusingly, "came to _me_ to ask for help to find work for Pegg. Which I did," she stated firmly. "But the minute," she went on without giving him the chance to respond, which caused him to roll his eyes again, "Cousin Violet thought that he was stealing, you took her side.

"I did not," he tried to argue.

"You did!" she stated matter-of-factly. "When she accused him of stealing her precious paper knife, you told her that someone could keep watch over him, whenever he entered the house."

"That was for his own protection," he tried arguing again. "No one could accuse him of stealing anything, if someone was with him at all times," he tried to reason.

"Would you honestly have asked for my help finding him work, if you'd had the feeling that he was going to steal?" she asked rather angrily.

"No, bu.."

"Then I don't see why," she said cutting him off, "there was the need for someone to watch his every move," she argued back strongly, which made him roll his eyes again. "And then let us not forget what happened, when we showed up at her home after I proved that he wasn't a thief!" she reminded him sharply. "You defended her again!"

"It's not the Dowager's fault that you didn't allow yourself to find out, in a more calming manner that she'd hired him back and apologized to him," he reminded her.

She gaped at him for a moment and then groaned in frustration. "There you go defending her again, and she's not even here!" she accused.

He threw his arms out in frustration and then placed them on his hips. "So I'm not allowed to have my own opinion?" he asked annoyed.

"Of course, you are," she told him. "But then answer me this," she told him with a raised eyebrow. "Do you ever feel that you _must_ agree with Cousin Violet, because she is who she is? And what about Cousin Robert and Cousin Cora?" she asked still with an edge to her tone. "Do you feel that you can't disagree with them, because of their titles?" He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but then hung his head letting his arms fall to his sides. "I think that says it all," she concluded.

He groaned. "I'm not exactly in a position to argue with them. Surely you can understand that?" he asked.

"Of course, I understand," she said nodding her head though still not relenting on her frustrations. "But is it then any wonder I thought that you didn't care?" she asked a bit angrily. "Telling me to hold my horses in front of Cousin Violet, and giving that ridiculous remark that it was game, set, and match to her!" she said irritated while shaking her head in the process. "Is it any wonder, I thought you'd stopped caring?" she argued strongly.

"But I did tell you that I cared about you! Several times in fact!" he argued back just as strongly. "Or I tried to at least," he argued though a little less strongly.

She blinked in surprise. "When exactly did you do that?" she demanded to know. "I remember no such thing!"

"One time was with young Pegg in fact," he told her and then went on when she remained silent, but told him with her eyes to tell her. "You didn't think that the family saw you as part of them," he reminded her and she nodded in recognition. "I then told you that if it served you to feel so unloved, nothing I said would make any difference," he told her. "So in other words, if I'd told you how I felt about you, you wouldn't have believed me!" he explained matter-of-factly.

She shook her head frustrated. "How was I to know that _that_ was what you meant?" she argued. "You told me that the village saw me as part of the family, so I assumed that you had included yourself in that."

"I did!" he told her. "But I assumed you would know that I cared more than that," he said rather annoyed that she hadn't understood that then. "Especially considering what had nearly happened between us long before that," he explained.

She furrowed her brow completely confused. "What in heaven's name are you talking about?"

He rolled his eyes not believing he had to remind her of something, he'd rather forget. Her rejection that day had been too painful. However, seeing as it seemed he had to explain, he took a calming breath.

"The fair in Thirsk," he reminded her. "I nearly proposed, but you turned me down because you didn't feel the same way."

She gasped in shock and stared wide eyed at him. "You were going to propose to _me_?" she asked in disbelief.

He blinked taken aback by her surprise. "Of course! Who else was I going to propose to?" he asked brows furrowing in confusion by her response.

"I don't know," she told him shrugging and shaking her head still not believing, what she was hearing.

He blinked at her again. "You honestly didn't know?" he asked shocked.

"No, I didn't," she told him shaking her head and talking more calmly. "I thought you had taken an interest in a widow in the village, and that you were merely asking for my opinion on what I would do, if I were in that position," she explained. "And," she said a bit more carefully biting her bottom lip for a second, "I didn't want you to take an interest in another woman, so I lied hoping that it would stop you from proposing," she told him looking down for a moment but then looked back up at him again . "You didn't exactly make it clear that I was the one, you wanted to propose to. You hadn't exactly been clear about your feelings for me before the fair," she admonished gently.

He stared even more wide eyed realizing what she was possibly admitting. "So if I had been more clear about my feelings," he ventured slowly, "you would've felt differently?" he asked carefully.

His heart seemed to stop again waiting for her answer, which seemed to take forever in his mind.

She finally nodded. "Yes," she admitted truthfully but quietly.

He closed his eyes tightly and let out a shuddering breath. "Oh god, I'm such a fool," he said giving out a bitter chuckle. "If only I'd known. If only I'd been more clear then maybe…" he trailed off shaking his head. "And now it's too late," he said quietly. "You're going to marry Lord Merton," he said sadly.

"No, I'm not," she said quietly.

However, he heard her clearly and snapped his head up staring intently at her.

"What?" he asked. When she smiled a little and started to shake her head, he stared dumbfounded. "But you said that he had proposed."

"And he did," she told him. "But I never agreed to marry him, and I never told you that I had," she said.

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "But you've been courting him these many months."

She rolled her eyes. "No, I haven't," she told him. "But it seems that you, Lord Merton, and just about everyone else think that we had been courting."

"But you hadn't been courting?" he asked still not daring to believe that there was still hope for them.

"No!" she told him firmly. She then sighed and calmed down. "I merely thought of him as a friend, and thought that we'd been spending time together as friends," she told him. "I never even as much as held his hand. So I was rather shocked when he not only proposed but also thought that we'd been courting," she explained.

He nodded slowly and then opened his mouth a few times not really knowing, if he had the right to ask or not. Deciding he might as well ask to set his mind at ease, he took a deep breath.

"You never considered marrying him?" he asked not being able to hide his nervousness completely.

She smiled a little at his behavior, and then shook her head. "No," she told him gently. "I was so shocked when he wanted to marry me that I told him straight out that I didn't want to marry him. But" she then went on more carefully, "when I'd then explained to him why I thought we'd never courted, which he then understood, he did ask me again. He was hoping that if we married, I would with time grow to care for him the way he cared for me."

She watched him take deep steady breaths.

"But you turned him down even then," he concluded.

She nodded in response. "I did," she said. "I could never marry for companionship only, and I knew in my heart that I could never love him," she told him a bit quietly but smiled a little more.

Seeing her smiling like that and the way she spoke gave him hope, and he took a step closer to her.

"Really?" he asked softly.

"Really," she replied just as softly also taking a step closer to him.

He took another tentatively step closer to her. "What about someone else?" he asked. "Is there room in your heart for another man besides Reginald?" he asked hopeful taking another step closer to her, coming to stand only two steps away from being able to reach out to her.

However, when she shook her head, his heart and hopes fell. "No, there's no room left," she told him.

He nodded slowly. "I see," he said sadly and hung his head again.

But when he heard her give a light chuckle, he looked up at her again confusion evident on his face. "Evidently you don't," she told him smiling. "A part of my heart will always belong to Reginald," she simply said knowing that she didn't need to explain carefully, because he would understand. "But the other part of my heart belongs to a man, I've known almost eleven years." He started smiling lovingly at her, and she returned the smiled as she went on. "He's been my dearest friend for so many years, but for a long time now I've felt more for him than just friendship." Both their smiles widened at the same time. "And although I believed that he didn't feel the same way about me, as I did about him that part of my heart would _always_ belong to him," she told him imploringly and with a voice thick with emotion now. "That part of my heart belongs to you," she said finally reaching out her hand for him.

Hearing her words and seeing her reaching out her hand to him, he sighed in relief and in happiness. He then took the last two steps towards her taking her hand in his intertwining their fingers. Watching her reaction to his action, he was happy to see her smiling more lovingly at him, which gave him the last courage he needed. He then raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.

When he both saw and heard her happiness from kissing her hand, he tugged at her hand bringing her a little closer, as he took another step towards her. Standing now toe to toe he placed the hand he was holding on his chest over his heart. He then gently raised his other hand to her face reaching out and cupped her cheek, running his thumb across it.

She closed her eyes for a moment leaning into his touch, and then opened them a moment later to find that he was smiling at her tenderly.

"And my heart," he said softly, "belongs to you," he said smiling lovingly. "Isobel," he nearly whispered trying out her name hesitantly, but seeing her smiling even wider, he felt more assured. "Isobel," he said more confident, "I love you," he told her voice thick with emotion.

"Richard," she responded more softly than he'd ever heard her before. She then reached her free hand up to caress his own cheek. "I love you, too," she said with a voice full of love.

He closed his eyes for a moment at hearing her words. He then turned his head to kiss the inside of her hand, and then turned it back to look at her. Seeing no objection in her eyes he leaned in slowly. Taking his lead she leaned in as well and their lips finally met in a soft kiss.

One kiss led to another and to several after that with the first one being innocent to the last one being more exploring. When they needed to break for air, they had their arms around each other holding one another tightly. Richard then hugged her to him, resting his head against hers. When he heard her sighing contently, he kissed her temple.

"I can't believe we're here like this after all these years," he told her. "I dreamed of this, but never thought it would actually happen."

"Nor did I," she said. "But I'm so very happy."

"So am I," he said kissing her temple again.

"And I'm so happy we're getting married," she said happily. She felt him stiffen, and a second later he pulled back and stared wide eyed at her. Her face fell at the expression on his face. "I just assumed…" she tried explaining. "I thought that after everything…" she said with a shrug. When he still gave no response, she sighed. Placing her hands on his chest she shook her head looking down. "Please just forget what I said," she told him trying to pull away

However, he quickly placed one hand over both of her hands, and placed the other arm around her waist pulling her back to him firmly and holding her tightly.

Surprised by his action she looked at him, and gasped slightly at the deep love and emotions she saw reflected in his eyes and at the smile on his lips.

Richard knew that if circumstances had been different, he would have planned a different proposal. He would have planned something romantic, or as romantic as he thought he could get. If it had been during the spring he imagined they would have had a picnic, and he would have proposed among the flowers in bloom. If it had been during the summer they would possibly have had dinner in his back garden in the evening, and he would have proposed afterwards with nothing but the stars and moon for light. Had it been during autumn he imagined he would have proposed in the forest among the trees with all the leaves in different colors, and then have gone home to have a nice dinner. Or if it had been during the winter, he could imagine that he'd taken her out for a late night walk after dinner and he would have proposed in a snow covered field with the lights from the village visible in the far distance.

He also knew that if circumstances were different, he would possibly have bought a ring or another gift as an acknowledgement of their engagement. More than likely he would also have gotten down on one knee, when asking for her hand after giving a long speech about how much he loved her, and how she made him feel.

However, he knew that everything leading up to a proposal, and how it was done didn't matter in the slightest. There would be plenty of chances for romantic moments, plenty of dinners and picnics shared outside, plenty of walks together at any time of the year, and plenty of opportunities to tell her how she made him feel, and how much he loved her. And while he might have liked to have had a ring for her, he also knew that she cared very little for material things, so that was of little concern to him as well.

The only thing that truly mattered would be the answer he hoped for to his proposal. But given her response a moment ago, he knew he didn't need to fear a rejection.

"Isobel, will you marry me?" he asked her plainly yet softly and lovingly.

Her smile was immediate knowing that he wasn't just asking, because she had thought that they were already getting married. She knew that he was being truthful and sincere, and that was all she needed and wanted.

"Yes," she answered happily not being able to contain her emotions but not caring one bit about it. "Oh yes, Richard," she answered again and once again meeting his lips halfway sealing their engagement with a kiss.

When they broke apart he took her face in his hands, and planted soft kisses all over her face, before realizing something.

"Have you eaten yet?" he asked her letting go of her face, and once again placing his arms around her waist.

She blinked surprised at the question for a moment, but then chuckled. "No," she said shaking her head. "I haven't actually," she told him.

"You didn't even pack some sandwiches for the long train ride?" he questioned.

"There was no time for that. Everyone was still at Rosamund's when I showed up, and after Cousin Violet told me about your feelings," he grimaced a bit at that, "I made up my mind to come straight here. I had Rosamund book me a ticket for the first train leaving for Downton, which left London less than an hour later." However, he smiled at that touched that she'd left so suddenly. "Tom then drove me to Grantham House with Mary and Edith, who helped me pack some of my things, and then all three took me to the train station to see me off."

"What about when you came to Downton?" he asked while caressing her back affectionately.

"No," she said. "Mary told me that she would make sure that there would be someone to pick me up at the train station," she explained. "When the chauffeur picked me up, I told him to take me straight to Crawley House. After he left, I hurried upstairs to wash up a bit and to change my clothes. I didn't even think about getting anything to eat," she said with a shrug and a smile.

"So you came straight here?" he asked still amazed at her resolute decisions, since finding out about his feelings.

"Not exactly," she said and he nodded for her to continue. "Before coming here I went to the graveyard to visit Matthew. I wanted to tell him about my news," she told him smiling, and he returned the smile. "You know it's funny," she said after a moment. "There were fresh flowers on his grave, and I have no idea who could've done that."

"I did that," he told her sheepishly.

"You did?" she asked completely surprised.

He nodded in affirmation. "I know how you go to the graveyard once a week to place fresh flowers on his grave. But you wouldn't be able to do that for a long time, while being in London," he explained. "So I thought, I would do it for you," he said shrugging. When she gaped at him, he thought he'd done the wrong thing. "I'm so sorry," he apologized immediately. "I didn't mean to overstep my boundaries or be impertinent. If I've offended you, I hope you can forgive me because I meant no harm," he told her almost pleadingly.

She blinked a few times to keep the tears away, almost overcome with his beautiful gesture. "No, Richard, you did nothing wrong," she told him shaking her head smiling. "You dear sweet man, you did nothing wrong," she told him again and then cupped his face with her hands drawing him to her, and kissed him soundly. "If you only knew what your beautiful gesture means to me," she said when they broke apart. "If you only knew."

"Well," he said taking a deep breath, regaining control of himself after that kiss. "I'm glad it made you happy," he told her relieved that she hadn't been offended.

"It did," she said smiling. "Very much so. I'm deeply touched," she told him genuinely.

"I'm glad," he told her again smiling. "Now about something to eat," he reminded her a short moment later. "I didn't eat at the hospital, and had intended to start making something, when you showed up," he explained. "So how about we go to the kitchen and make ourselves something, and we can talk about everything that has happened?"

She nodded smiling. "I like the sound of that," she told him softly.

"Good," he simply but softly said. He then took her hand in his giving it a gentle squeeze. Feeling her squeezing his hand back in return, they made their way to the kitchen.

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

Happy New Year, everyone. :) As always a huge thank you for reading and for the many lovely reviews. You're all much too kind. :)

I apologize for taking so long with this chapter, but it just took longer than expected. However, it's also the longest chapter, and I really hadn't thought that it'd be so long. But ah well - don't see that as a bad thing, and I hope that you don't either. :) As I only just put the finishing touches on this chapter now, I don't have anything written on the next chapter, so I have no way of knowing, when that'll be posted. But I'll do my best to be quicker about it, than with this chapter though I'm not making any promises. :D But happy reading and I hope you'll like it. :)

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**Chapter 12**

They sat cuddled up together on the sofa with her head resting on his shoulder. Since leaving the sitting room a few hours earlier, they had shared everything that had been going on in recent months. Richard had told Isobel how he felt, when he thought she was courting Lord Merton. She had then told him of the conversation she'd had with Violet in the car that led her to seek him out at the hospital, which had let him to tell her about the conversation that he'd had with Violet. He had then explained how things had been for him, when she was in London, while she'd told him exactly how the conversation with Lord Merton went in the park. Lastly Isobel had told him of the conversation that had taken place at Rosamund's, which made her take the first train back to Downton.

Isobel shook her head a little still astounded by it all. "Goodness," she said, "I still can't believe that Cousin Violet told you those exact things," she told him.

"I know," Richard agreed still not feeling too comfortable with how emotional he'd gotten. "I suppose this means we are forever in her dept now," he said pursing his lips in thought.

She rolled her eyes at the thought. "Yes, I doubt she'll ever let us forget," she said sighing. "But," she went on more softly, "I'm not entirely sure I mind so much knowing that it brought us to this."

Turning her head to look up at him, he also turned his head. He then leaned down and captured her lips in a soft kiss. "I quite agree," he then said before kissing her again, and then let her snuggle back against his shoulder.

"Nor can I believe the things Mrs. Levinson said," she told him a little quietly a few moments later, remembering what Martha had said about thinking that Lord Merton was her lover, and that she and Richard would probably be very busy to bother with anyone else.

He chuckled a little loudly at that, not noticing the difference in Isobel. "No, I can imagine that must have been rather uncomfortable as well. For _everyone_." He chuckled again. "She really does sound like quite the character."

"She is," she agreed. "But she's actually also rather nice." She felt him nod against her head.

"Did you want to call them to let them know how things went?" he asked.

"Good heaven's no," she chuckled heartedly feeling more relaxed. "I have no desire to let them know just yet," she told him smiling. "Besides, I think it's rather late now to be calling."

"I hadn't even realized the time," he said and then looked at the clock on the mantelpiece. He then sighed sadly. "It's late. I better walk you home," he told her regrettably.

Sitting up straighter he pulled her with him in the process. But when he tried to stand up, she grabbed his hands preventing him from going anywhere.

"I _am _home," she told him softly. "When we're married I want us to live here," she explained.

"You want to live here?" he asked utterly surprised.

"Yes," she answered plainly.

"But Lord Grantham gave you Crawley House for life," he reminded her.

"Just because he did, it doesn't mean that I should take him up on the offer," she told him teasingly.

He rolled his eyes slightly but smiled in the process. "I realize that," he said shaking his head at her. "But wouldn't you prefer to live at Crawley House? It's much bigger compared to this little cottage," he said taking a look around to prove his point.

"Richard, what a terrible thing to say," she scolded him gently. "Your home is by no means small."

"I gave you the _grand_ tour earlier," he reminded her. "So compared to Crawley House you know that it is."

"Yes, but it's a nice seized cottage. Your sitting room is bigger than the one at Crawley House. And besides," she went on, "this isn't about what _I_ want, but about what _we_ want." She then smiled knowingly. "Do you honestly want to live at Crawley House, when it in reality belongs to Cousin Robert? Could you honestly feel content and at home in such a place?"

When she saw him open his mouth to argue, she raised her eyebrow making him sigh in defeat immediately. "No," he admitted and saw her smiling a little triumphantly, but he merely smiled back at how well she knew him. "But what about all the memories, you have in that place? You and Matthew lived there for a long time, and it's also right next to the graveyard," he pointed out. "I would never want you to part with that. I would want you to be happy above all else."

She smiled lovingly at him being deeply touched that he'd sacrifice his own happiness, just so that she could continue living in a house that held so many wonderful memories for her. It also reminded her of what he'd told Violet during their conversation, about only wanting her to be happy.

"No matter where I am, I take those precious memories of Matthew with me," she told him softly. "I haven't lived in the house in Manchester for years, and yet I can still clearly visualize him running around the house as a little boy," she smiled fondly at the memory causing him to smile, too. "So you see, it doesn't matter where I live. It matters that _we_ live where we'll _both_ be happy living," she explained. "Besides, you don't have any large paintings of deceased family members all over the walls, whom I've never known, like Crawley House does. And I'm glad of that," she said smiling and then looked around. "I quite like the décor of your home and everything adorning the walls."

The walls in the sitting room were dark cream colored, and the furniture all quite dark in colors, but in different earthy colors. The paintings on the walls were mostly of landscape, and Richard had told her that they were of the Scottish landscape, which she quite liked. There were a few poems framed hanging on the walls as well, and some were of Robert Burns, while others were made by his maternal grandmother and a few by a friend of the family. Then there were some drawings made by Richard's uncle that were of the area, where he grew up.

He looked at her taking it all in again, and he was honored and humbled that she was so pleased with his home. She'd been genuinely interested and happy, when he'd given her the grand tour earlier and explained everything to her. It had warmed his heart, when she'd complimented his home, and cared about what he'd told her and even asked questions to what he had explained.

"Well, I'm pleased that you seem to like it so much," he said a little shyly.

She turned her head, so that she could look him in the eyes. "I do," she told him imploringly. "You may not think there's much to your cottage, but I do. This is a _home_, whereas Crawley House is just a house. I've enjoyed living in Crawley House, and I have felt enough at home there in all these years," she told him. "However, there's something about this place that makes it feel more like a home."

"How so?" he asked slightly puzzled but generally interested.

She shrugged. "Perhaps it's the furniture along with the colors of the walls and the colors of the paintings. Your furniture is more comfortable than the furniture at Crawley House," she explained. "For instance this sofa is much more comfortable than the one at Crawley House. And your armchair," she said looking at it smiling, "looks like it's quite comfortable to curl up on with a good book and a cup of tea." She then looked back at him. "As is this sofa. I know we've been quite comfortable cuddled up together here, but I can imagine that we could curl up even more with a book and a cup of tea." He smiled at the thought.

"I imagine that, too," he said.

She then continued. "As I said your furniture is more comfortable. They're not stiff like the ones at Crawley House. It's like the furniture there is meant to represent the standard of the house or the people they really belong to. And while I may belong to that family," she said raising an eyebrow knowingly referring to their earlier conversation, "I don't prefer that kind of living. I prefer this," she said gesturing with a hand around the room. "The bookshelves going from the floor to the ceiling over in the one corner, and the other comfortable over seized armchair nearby that is at the one window overlooking the garden. That also seems like another great place to cuddle up with a good book." She looked back at him smiling lovingly. "Or to cuddle up together." He smiled lovingly at her too. "Then there are the blankets and pillows on the sofa and armchairs, which also make it more of a home," she went on. "Not to mention the gramophone player in the other corner, and the paintings, drawings, and poems on the walls that have a significance to who you are, and where you're from. Everything about this room and the cottage in general, makes me feel more at home than I've felt in all my years in Downton." She then took hold of his hand and gave it a squeeze. "And I really mean that."

He squeezed her hand in return. "I believe you," he said raising her hand to his lips kissing her knuckles twice. "And I'm honored that you wish to live here. I really am," he told her. "But what about the garden? My garden hardly compares to the one at Crawley House, and I know that you love that garden."

"I do," she said nodding. "But your garden is lovely, too. And again it seems more comfortable, if a garden can feel that way," she said chuckling slightly.

He chuckled at that as well, but then got more serious. "But this place doesn't have that much room. There's room enough for the two of us, but hardly more than that," he said carefully.

She knitted her brow in confusion. "Who else would be living here besides the two of us?" she asked not understanding his point. "You're the only one, who has been living here so far, and as you say there's plenty of room for the two of us. So I don't see what the problem is."

"I realize that, and if it were only the two of us that would be just fine. But what about your staff?" he asked. "I know that Mrs. Field is leaving soon, but I would assume that you'd be getting a new cook after her. And then there's your maid, too. There would be no room for any help to live here, if we were to live here," he explained. "Well, there are the two extra bedrooms upstairs. But those would be close to our own bedroom, and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable having anyone that close by," he told her grimacing a little at the thought. "And one of the bedrooms is much smaller than the other one," he pointed out.

"But would you really be happy having any sort of staff?" she asked. "You're used to taking care of most things on your own. Mrs. Turner comes in a few times a week, but only to clean and to make a few errands, when you don't have the time. But you cook your own meals, answer the door yourself, make your own tea and coffee, and walk around the cottage as you please not having anyone around, you need to consider. You can be yourself completely with no help living here with you," she explained. "You can't tell me, you still wouldn't prefer to live like that," she said smiling knowingly.

He sighed. "I would," he said honestly. "But you pointed out that it isn't about what _you_ want. So this isn't about what _I_ want either," he told her. "You've been used to having help, even when you lived in Manchester. You had a cook and a maid then, just like you have now. I wouldn't want to take that away from you, and I would feel bad that you would have to fire Lucy by living here. As I said there isn't really room for her to live here, and there wouldn't be much need of her here as there would be at Crawley House," he explained.

"I hadn't really thought much about that," she said frowning.

"I would be happy to have Lucy working here, if she only worked here during the day time and she could then live somewhere else. But I wouldn't want to fire Mrs. Turner either," he said. "And it makes no sense to employ them both here. There wouldn't be enough work for either of them."

"No, I see your point," she said nodding. "I know you've said that Mrs. Turner needs all the work that she can get, so I wouldn't feel right about firing her, just so Lucy could work here." He nodded in agreement. "And I agree that there wouldn't be enough work for either of them here. Nor would there really be, if we lived at Crawley House," she pointed out.

He sighed. "No, I suppose there really wouldn't be there either. Not when you've managed with just one maid."

She sighed as well. "I really would hate to fire Lucy, but I would also prefer to live here," she told him, and then took a few moments to think things over. "Perhaps, if we wait a few months to marry, which will also coincide with when Mrs. Field leaves, we can use the time to help Lucy find another job," she told him hopeful.

"Of course we can," he told her smiling. "We've taken this long to get together, so I'm sure we can wait a little while longer. Besides," he went on, "it will take some time planning the wedding anyway, so I think that it will all work out nicely."

She smiled lovingly at him. "Thank you."

He returned the loving smile. "No need to thank me," he said caressing her hand with his thumb. "But what about a new cook?" he asked. "If we were not getting married, wouldn't you have hired a new cook after Mrs. Field left?"

"No," she said shaking her head. "I'd actually thought about not doing that."

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"You needn't act so surprised, Richard," she scolded him teasingly, which made him roll his eyes, though he kept smiling. "You know that I only had help occasionally after Ethel left," she reminded him.

"Yes, I remember," he said fondly remembering her cooking, when he'd been to dinner shortly before the fair in Thirsk.

"And you also know, how I don't really want all the fuss, and that I manage quite well without much help at all," she told him.

"I know," he said smiling. "More than well, I should say," he told her proudly.

She smiled back at him. "Well, it just so happens that I'd thought that I could do with much less help, after Mrs. Field left. I actually want to get back to a much simpler way of living, and to do more things on my own. So I'd actually thought of not getting a new cook, but instead take care of the cooking on my own with some help from Lucy," she said. "But since you're quite capable in the kitchen, I don't think there's any risk of us starving, even when it's just going to be the two of us," she told him chuckling.

He chuckled as well shaking his head. "I definitely don't think there's a risk of that either. And I must say," he went on, "that I like the idea of us cooking along side of each other. I quite enjoyed it this evening," he said smiling tenderly.

"So did I," she said speaking just as tenderly, as they sat looking at each other in silence for a few seconds. "As for Lucy," she said a few moments later breaking the silence. "I was thinking that I could ask Mrs. Hughes, if they need more help at the Abbey. Or I can go directly to Mary," she explained.

"You don't think that you should ask Lady Grantham?" he asked in puzzlement.

She shook her head. "Mary owns half the estate, which means that she'll know better than Cousin Cora, if they have the money to take on someone new. She'll also give me an honest and straight answer, if they can't, and I'd appreciate that." He nodded understanding. "But if they do have the money to take on someone new, but not really in the need of one, I think Mary might be willing to hire Lucy anyway, because she'd want to do that for me."

He raised an eyebrow skeptical of that. "You honestly believe that?" he asked and at her bemused expression with slightly narrow eyes, he quickly went on. "I mean no disrespect to Lady Mary." She smiled letting him know that she knew he didn't. "She has changed a lot over the years, and we both saw how much she helped out during the war." She nodded. "But do you think she'd want to waste the money, when they've had so much trouble in the past? Can you see her wanting to hire someone, if it's not absolutely necessary? And what about Lord Grantham? Wouldn't he have a say in this as well? Or perhaps where the household's concern maybe more Lady Grantham?"

"If we'd had this discussion ten years ago, I don't think she'd be willing to help to the point that she'd hire a person, even if they didn't need the help," she explained. "But she's changed. Perhaps most can't see it. But as you know, she and I have become even closer than we were before Matthew died." He squeezed her hand a little tighter knowing that no matter how many years passed, it would always be difficult for her to talk about Matthew being dead. "And some time ago she told me, as did the family, that if I ever needed anything that they'd help in every way, if they could. That is why I'm quite convinced that she'll hire Lucy, if they can afford it," she told him with confidence.

He smiled brightly at her giving her hand another squeeze. "That sounds very good indeed then, and it certainly can't hurt asking," he said. "And if they can't hire her after all, they might know someone who can." She nodded in agreement. "But are you with absolute certainty positive that you wish to live here?" he asked again still needing to be reassured once again, hardly believing that she'd be content to live in a place that was smaller even to her house in Manchester.

She cupped his cheek with her free hand and looked at him tenderly.

"Yes, Richard," she told him imploringly yet softly. "And I don't want to hear another word of how small, you think it is," she told him raising an eyebrow, when she noticed that he was about to argue.

"Sorry," he mumbled smiling apologetically, and turned his head to kiss the inside of her hand. "I'm just finding this whole evening hard to believe. First you show up here, then you tell me that you love me like I love you, and then that you will marry me. And now you wish to live here. It's all quite overwhelming," he said smiling lovingly at her.

She stroked his cheek tenderly. "For me as well," she said softly and then letting her hand fall back into her lap. "But your home has everything that we could possibly need," she told him. "The kitchen is nearly the same size as the one at Crawley House, which I quite like. The dining room is a little smaller, but I highly doubt we'll be having any large dinner parties. Though I do hope that it will be alright that we invite Mary and George around once in a while. And Tom's been coming around Crawley House for dinner as well, so I hope that it would be alright for him to still come around, and that he can bring Sybbie. Then there's Edith. She was quite busy in the past going to London a lot, but I sense that she needs taking care of, so I hope that we can invite her, too," she said carefully and hopeful.

"Of course we can," he told her reassuringly. "You can invite whoever you wish to," he said adding another squeeze to her hand. "I want this home to feel as much yours as mine, and if you wish to make any changes, we'll do that," he said. "We can buy brand new furniture, and change this cottage completely around."

She shook her head. "No, I don't wish to make any big changes. As I already said I love the décor of it," she reminded him to which he nodded in reply. "There are a few small pieces of furniture that are in the house in Manchester that I'd like to bring. They belonged to my parents," she explained. "But as Cousin Robert and Cousin Cora supplied the furniture for Crawley House, I never did get around to having them brought to Downton," she said with a shrug. "But one is a very small desk that I thought we might be able to fit in here, so that I could have a place to write letters. That way you can have your study to yourself."

"We will share everything equally," he told her matter-of-factly. "So I'll be more than happy to share the study with you. Besides," he went on, "when I showed you around earlier, I told you that I hardly ever use the study. I mostly read in here or read in bed, and really only keep the study to store anything involving my work and books in general that I haven't made room for in here. Therefore, we can turn the study into a study and a library for the both of us. But," he said smiling, "I think that a small desk by the other window would be wonderful. It would also be a good place to write letters, as you'll have the afternoon sun there and it's overlooking the garden," he explained.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," she told him softly.

"I'm glad," he said. "We can put up any family photos of yours next to mine, and if you have any paintings or things you wish to put on the walls, we'll change things around. We'll make room for everything, so that it'll be _our_ home," he told her already looking forward to moving her things in and making the changes that he knew, they'd both be happy with.

"I can't wait to get started," she told him happily.

"Neither can I," he replied leaning in and kissed her. When they broke apart, he took another look at the clock on the mantelpiece. "And now that we have all that settled, I think it's time that I walk you back to Crawley House," he said.

But as he tried to stand up, her grip on his hand tightened, and she used the free hand to help pull him back down.

At his confused expression she smiled a little shyly, but also showed determination.

"When I said I was home, I also meant that I wasn't going back to Crawley House tonight," she explained. "I'm staying here."

He gaped at her not believing what she'd just told him. After a few seconds of just staring open mouthed, he shook his head coming to his senses.

"But you can't!" At her rather shocked expression, he took a deep breath and spoke calmer. "People will surely have seen you come here. And if they don't see you leave again, there could very well be talk. I don't want anyone talking ill of you," he told her.

She smiled softly at him appreciating his concern for her reputation.

"While people may have seen me leave Crawley House to go to the graveyard, they didn't see me leave. I left through the back of the graveyard, and I took the back paths coming here," she explained. "I met no one on my way, and I made sure that no one saw me entering through your back garden," she said. "Not that anyone would anyway, as the cottage is at the end of the village, and not surrounded by any other houses. Nor do you have any immediate neighbors," she reminded him. When he merely gaped again, she went on. "I'll go back to Crawley House in the morning after you leave for the hospital, and I'll make sure to go back the same way that I came. That way it's also unlike that I should be seen by anyone." When he still didn't say anything, she carried on. "And if someone does see me, I can just tell them I'm out on a morning stroll," she said shrugging and smiling a little. "Before I left, I also unlocked the back gate at Crawley House, so I will go in that way. By using the back gate, it'll also make it more unlikely that someone should notice me. And even if someone did see me going to the graveyard, I'm sure no one's been watching the entire time to make sure, I came back again," she responded with a chuckle.

"But what about your staff?" he asked.

"They're still on holiday, and I have no intention of asking them to come back early," she told him. "Just because I came back before I intended, it doesn't mean that they should have their time away cut short."

"No, of course not," he said but didn't get a chance to go any further.

"And with the family in London for a long time still, and with Lucy and Mrs. Field away as well, it gives us the opportunity to spend time together, without any interruptions," she told him matter-of-factly. "That can't possibly be a bad thing," she told him a little coyly.

He chuckled at that and she did as well. "Of course it isn't," he told her.

"Good!" she stated. "Then we've settled the issue. I'm staying," she said smiling.

"But I…you cannot…I don't...I don't think…" he sighed as she raised her eyebrow with an amused expression on her face. He then nodded giving in. "Alright then. You can have my bedroom, and I'll sleep here on the sofa. I have some pajamas you can wear," he told her.

Her face fell and she chewed on her bottom lip for a second. "I don't want us to sleep separately," she told him quietly. "In fact, I hadn't intended for us to sleep just yet," she said just as quietly.

He stared wide eyed at her. "You can't possibly be implying that…that you want us to…to…to.." He trailed off being at a loss for words, but only stared more wide eyed at her when she nodded. "No!" he said shaking his head vigorously. "Absolutely not!" he replied as firmly as he could though his voice was cracking slightly.

She blinked hard at his outburst and then her face fell even more. "But I thought that you'd want…I mean I'd hoped that we would…that is to say that I…" She sighed heavily and then looked him straight in the eye. "Richard, to me a marriage involves _everything_," she told him imploringly. "I don't want our marriage to be based basically on companionship only, with a few kisses and cuddles thrown in. And I didn't think that that was what you wanted either. But that's what it would be like, if our marriage didn't involve _everything_, even though we love each other," she argued. "Don't you wish for us to make love?" she asked nervously not believing that he'd reject her but fearing it slightly.

He gaped at her again, not believing the look he was seeing in her eyes. "Of course I do!" he told her quickly to reassure her, and gripped her hand a little tighter in the process. He was happy when he saw her smile and sigh in relief. "Isobel, if you only knew how much I want to make love to you," he declared and then went on. "If you only knew how much I desire you, and the dreams I've had of us togeth.." He quickly stopped himself, when he saw her face flushing immediately. Feeling his own face going red, he quickly cleared his throat and looked away a little. "But we're not married yet, so it wouldn't be proper," he explained.

She cleared her throat as well. "But we'll be so discreet that no one will ever know," she told him. "And it's not like I can get pregnant at my age, so there's no chance of me being several months along by the time we're married," she said with a chuckle, when a thought suddenly entered her mind. "Richard, are you a virgin?" she asked him bluntly.

His head snapped back to hers immediately. "What? No! I'm not a virgin! I've been with women!" he exclaimed. Suddenly feeling embarrassed by the information and his outburst, he let go of her hands and turned his body so that he was facing the fire. Leaning forwards a bit he shook his head before looking down. "I know I've never been married," he told her quietly. "But I have been with a few women," he said feeling awkward and shy.

Reaching out her hand she stroked his arm soothingly. "That's alright," she told him sincerely. "It's nothing to be ashamed about. I think most men have been with a woman, even if they've never been married," she explained. "Reginald told me that he had been with two women before me. And I'm also quite sure that Matthew was with someone before Mary," she said. "There was one morning when we lived in Manchester, where he came down for breakfast grinning from ear to ear," she chuckled lightly at the memory. "He tried his best to conceal it, but I had a gut feeling why he was grinning."

Richard nodded and smiled slightly. "Yes, I think that was a telltale sign. It is with most young lads, I believe," he said.

"Then if the problem isn't that you've never been with a woman, then what is the problem?" she asked gently. "Because I'm sensing there is one," she told him softly.

Closing his eyes he swallowed hard, and then sighed heavily but kept his eyes closed. "I don't want to be a disappointment to you," he told her very quietly.

"What?" she said, being utterly surprised by his answer. "How on earth could you ever think that you'd be a disappointment to me?" she asked gently reaching out her free hand, and placed it on top of his nearest one caressing it.

"As I said I've only been with a few women. But it's been years, since I was last with one," he explained quietly. "I haven't been with a woman in all my years living in Downton. Not even when I've been away on holidays," he told her. "So I'm rather out of practice, and to be honest not even all that experienced to begin with."

"I haven't been with anyone but Reginald, and you know how long it's been since he died," she told him gently. "So I'm rather out of practice myself," she commented. "But I have heard that it's like riding a bicycle," she said encouragingly and a little cheerfully, trying her best to hide that she was nervous as well, and fearing that she'd be a disappointment to him. "But of course if your bicycling skills a few weeks ago are any indication to go by, perhaps I should be worried," she said teasingly trying to lighten the mood. But when she saw him grimace, she regretted it immediately. "I'm so sorry, Richard, I didn't mean it," she apologized straight away. "That was very careless of me. Please forgive me."

Shaking his head he smiled gently opening his eyes, but still didn't look up at her. "It's not that," he said caressing her hand to let her know that she hadn't upset him.

"No?" she asked surprised.

"No," he answered softly. "There was no pebble in the road that caused me to fall over that day," he explained.

"Then what was it?" she asked softly.

"As I came back from the housecall I noticed you, which made me smile," he told her which made her smile and she squeezed his hand. "But then I noticed that Lord Merton was with you. Seeing you with him made me ill, which caused me to lose my balance and fall," he said.

She gaped for a moment being surprised by his confession, and his behavior that day suddenly made more sense. However, she then smiled and gave his hand another squeeze and placed her other hand on his back.

"But then, Richard, don't you see?" she said smiling. "If seeing me with another man, who you thought I was courting, could cause you to have such a strong emotion and reaction, I believe you're capable of great passion," she explained encouragingly.

She saw him raise an eyebrow skeptically. "Really?" he said unconvinced.

"Really," she confirmed. "And I don't for one second believe that you'd be a disappointment," she told him softly learning towards him. "You never could be to me," she whispered and then kissed him on the cheek.

He finally turned his head towards her again, and with their faces only inches apart, he leaned in and kissed her.

"I hope you're right," he told her smiling a little.

"I know I am," she told him softly but firmly and then kissed him again. "Of course I don't wish to pressure you or force you, if you honestly want to wait," she went on a little carefully. "But do you honestly think there's a difference, if we wait until our wedding night to make love compared to now?" she asked.

Thinking it over for a few seconds he eventually sighed and shook his head. "No, I don't," he admitted.

"Well then?" she said smiling softly.

He chuckled softly shaking his head and then kissed her softly again. "Yes," he responded softly and then kissed her lightly. "I never was able to argue with you," he replied grinning a little.

"So why start now?" she responded with a chuckle of her own.

He laughed out loud and she laughed along with him easing a little of the tension out of both of them.

"True," he said but then sighed running a hand through his hair a little nervously, not really sure on what to do next. "Well, there's no fire in the bedroom, so perhaps I should go upstairs and start it first," he said.

She nodded. "Yes," she replied smiling a little. "I can take out the tray and tidy things up in the meantime," she explained.

"Good," he said nodding. "Then I'll come down when the fire's lit, and I'll make sure that the fire down here is out, before I come for you."

"That sounds like a good plan," she told him smiling brightly to conceal her nervousness.

"That's what we'll do then," he said nodding and then nodded a bit more firmly. "Yes, that's what we'll do," he said a bit more confidently. He then stood up pulling her with him, and this time she didn't resist him. "So I'll see you in a few minutes," he said.

She nodded in agreement. "Yes, you will," she said leaning in to meet him halfway in another soft kiss.

He nodded but kept silent, and with one last look at her, he left the sitting room and went upstairs.

After Richard had left, Isobel sighed heavily wringing her hands nervously. Although she had acted bold and confident the truth was that she was nervous. Very nervous.

She had every bit of faith in Richard, and knew in her heart that he wouldn't be the disappointment he thought he'd be. It was, however, her own abilities that she feared.

Thinking back to her wedding night with Reginald, she'd been nervous then, too. But that was naturally to be expected. And while she had still been uncertain the first few times making love to him, it had soon disappeared by their deep love for one another. Also, by how they'd become more and more comfortable with each other and knowing each other fully.

However, she'd been younger then. Much younger. And it was her age now, as well as not having shared that kind of intimacy with a man for years, which made her extremely nervous, and fearing Richard's reaction.

However, knowing Richard the way that she did, she knew in truth that he'd be nothing but loving, kind, and patient with her. But she wondered if she'd be able to satisfy him enough, and if he'd be pleased with her touches and caresses.

He had briefly commented of how much he wanted and desired her, and that he'd had dreams of them together. That was why she also knew that he wouldn't be a disappointment, from the way he'd said it. And it wasn't like she hadn't had dreams of her own of them together, because she had. Many times in fact. And every time in her dreams, she'd been able to please him thoroughly.

But dreams were not reality, and the truth was that she was scared of failing. Failure had always been a big fear in her life, and while she had experienced it many times, it was never something she took lightly. But while there were different kinds of failure, and failures that didn't matter much, and that she could live with, being a failure to Richard in any sense was something she believed, she couldn't live with.

Sighing heavily once again Isobel decided to try to take her mind off her worries for a bit. Richard would be down soon enough, and so she decided to busy herself with what she'd said, she'd do. Walking over to the small table between the armchair and the sofa, she picked up the tray and went to the kitchen.

When she came into the kitchen she sat the tray down, and brought everything over to the sink that needed washing up, and began rinsing it off.

Once she was done washing it up, she picked up the dishtowel drying everything off, and then proceeded to put everything back where Richard had taken things out of earlier.

When that task was done, she dried off the table and tidied up, feeling glad about being useful and having her mind distracted.

However, soon she heard Richard's footstep approaching, and a few seconds later he entered the kitchen.

"The fire is lit," he told her quietly.

She turned around facing him and smiled brightly. "Good," she said cheerfully though her stomach was full of butterflies. "All's been taken care of here in the kitchen."

"As has everything else down here," he responded. "So shall we make our way upstairs?" he asked gently.

"Yes, I do believe so," she replied and took his hand, when he held it out for her to take.

He intertwined their fingers and led the way upstairs turning off the lights along their way.

When they came to the bedroom he opened the door for her, letting go of her hand allowing her to walk in first. Once he was inside as well, he turned around closing the door, and when he turned back around towards her again, he noticed that she seemed anything but relaxed.

"Isobel, what's wrong?" he asked walking around so that he could face her.

She shrugged. "It's nothing really," she told him.

"But clearly it's something," he said knowingly. "Please tell me," he asked her softly.

"I just didn't think that the lights would be on, that's all," she said looking around at the lit lamps in the room. "I knew there would be the light from the fire, but that's all I thought there'd be," she explained and continued looking around to avoid eye contact. "I'm just not all that comfortable revealing myself," she explained thinking it was best to finally be truthful. Then shrugging her shoulders she looked down a bit. "But I know we'd have to see each other without clothes on eventually, so suppose it shouldn't be an issue having the lights on."

He smiled at her tenderly being glad that he wasn't the only one, who was nervous.

"I have an idea," he said and then walked over to the nightstand nearest to him.

Taken completely by surprised by his remark and behavior, she looked at him as he got something from the drawer.

"What are you doing?" she asked puzzled.

However, he merely looked over his shoulder smiling at her for a moment without saying a word.

She then watched him show her a box of matches, and then watched him go to his dresser, where he lit the paraffin lamp. Leaving the matches on the dresser, he took the lamp over to the nightstand placing it there, and then turned off the electric lamp. He then proceeded to walk round the room turning off every electric lamp. When he'd done that the room was bathed in a soft glow from the fire and the paraffin lamp.

Walking back to her, he stood before her and smiled at her lovingly.

"Is that better?" he asked tenderly.

She smiled a little nervously but nodded. "Yes," she said quietly.

"You know," he started out reaching for her hand in the process, which she let him take without resistance, "one of the many things, I love about you, is that you always face anything with determination and your head held high," he told her smiling lovingly at her. "But you needn't be brave with me or even pretend to be brave," he said softly. "If something is bothering you, I want you to be able to tell me. I'll never think any less of you," he explained.

Chewing on her bottom lip a bit she smiled a little embarrassed and then nodded. "I know," she whispered.

He then tilted his head to the side. "There's more, isn't there?" he asked though he was quite sure that the answer would be yes.

Swallowing hard she nodded after a few seconds, and then looked down. "There is," she told him still whispering.

Pulling her towards him he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, letting her hide her face against his chest.

"You can tell me anything," he encouraged kissing the top of her head.

She was still for a few moments, but then sighed. "I know I appeared bold and confident downstairs," she explained quietly. "But the truth is," she said pausing for a moment. "The truth is that I'm scared and nervous. I don't want to be a disappointment to you either, and I fear that I won't be able to please you," she told him honestly yet even quieter.

He shut his eyes tightly for a moment hating that she felt this way, and then caressed her back affectionately in an attempt to sooth her. "You could never disappoint me or not please me," he said imploringly. "_Never_," he emphasized.

"You can't be sure of that," she told him.

"But I am." He then pulled back a little, so that he could look at her. "Please look at me," he asked gently. But when she still kept looking down, he used one of his hands to tilt her head up with his fingers. "That's better," he murmured smiling at her softly, and then cupped her cheek, when she merely looked at him feeling quite embarrassed. "Remember what I told you downstairs about how I felt, when I first only noticed you in the village on the day that I fell off my bicycle?" he asked.

She nodded slowly. "You said that the sight of me made you smile," she said smiling a little at the thought of him doing that.

"Precisely," he said smiling. "I know we only got together tonight, and that we've always been very proper with each other. But, Isobel, if you only _knew_ how I feel, when you touch me. The simplest and tiniest of your touches set me on fire," he declared strongly making her swallow hard at the intense look in his eyes.

She had a hard time believing that she could cause such a reaction in him at her age, even with what he'd said downstairs. And it made her blink hard a few times.

"Really?" she asked a bit disbelievingly.

"Of course," he emphasized lovingly. "But it isn't just your touches," he explained. "Just the fact that you love me pleases me thoroughly, and more than you'll ever know," he said making her smile a bit more. "And you're beautiful to me. So beautiful," he told her plainly but softly. "Always have been and always will be. And nothing will ever change that," he told her truthfully and softly. "So I won't hear you trying to argue with me on that," he scolded teasingly, though raised an eyebrow at her knowing that she'd more than likely try to contradict him.

She swallowed hard at him knowing her so well, as she had indeed intended on contradicting him. However, thinking about what he'd said, she soon blushed. Being genuinely pleased that he thought she was beautiful, she smiled a little more.

"Thank you," she told him quietly.

Smiling at her even more lovingly he leaned forward and kissed her forehead tenderly. "But we don't have to go through with this, if you've changed your mind," he told her looking at her again. "I won't ever force you or pressure you to do something, which you're not willing to do freely. So the offer of me sleeping on the sofa still stands," he said.

She shook her head. "No, I don't want you to do that," she told him honestly.

"Then we can share the bed here and just sleep," he offered.

However, she shook her head again immediately. "No, I don't want us to do that either," she said and meant it.

"Are you sure?" he asked gently. "It's completely fine that we do nothing but sleep."

"Yes, I'm sure," she answered still feeling nervous but more confident then when entering the bedroom.

Seeing the nervousness in her eyes he caressed her cheek tenderly with his thumb.

"I'm nervous, too, and still in doubt of my own abilities," he told her making her smile again at his honesty. "How about, we just take it slowly and one step at a time?"

She nodded in agreement. "Yes, I like the sound of that," she said quietly.

"Good," he told her just as quietly. "And if at any moment you feel uncomfortable, tell me and we'll stop. As I said I don't want you to do anything that you're not willing to do freely," he reminded her. "I'll never force or demand that you do anything that you're uncomfortable doing."

"I know you'd never do that," she told him and knew that he never would. "And if I do anything that you're uncomfortable with," she told him. "Or do something that you don't like," she added a bit more quietly. "Please tell me."

"What did I just tell you?" he reminded her smiling tenderly. "Fire, Isobel. You set me on fire."

"Yes, I know, Richard. But just please tell me," she said swallowing hard again.

He sighed hating that she still didn't feel that confident, but then realized that he felt exactly the same way about himself.

"I will," he agreed knowing that she needed to hear him say it. And he was glad to see her smile a little.

"Good," she told him and then leaned in kissing him softly, making Richard bring his hand from her cheek around her shoulders.

When they broke apart they rested their foreheads against each other's closing their eyes, and just stood there for a few seconds. Richard then learned back and looked at Isobel. Feeling his eyes on her, she looked at him, too.

Taking it all in from what had been said downstairs to what had been said in the bedroom, they stood there just looking at each other for a few moments.

Then wordlessly Richard looked deeply into Isobel's eyes to see, if she was still willing to make love. When he saw her nod in affirmation and give a little smile, he let go of her. Knowing that his hand was shaking a little, he reached it out nonetheless for her to take. When she took it, he was relieved to feel her hand shaking slightly in his, and it made them give out a nervous chuckle simultaneously.

However, at the same time it anchored them, and they both became aware of it. Slowly a bit of the nervousness and trepidation started to fade away, and they both felt it.

Without further hesitation, though still apprehensive, they walked towards the bed together never taking their eyes off each other.

**TBC**


End file.
